Be like me?

I spent my morning with 8 five and six year-old girls and 1 twelve year-old.  A colleague that I met through our local FCC chapter (and who later was very influential in getting me a job) was celebrating her daughter's 6 year birthday with a Build-A-Bear Birthday Bash.  Yep, it's a mouth full. 

Her daughter attends a Montessori school and there is evidently quite a mix of students that attend.  Her friends were very diverse, as were there parents.  Most of the moms hung around and helped their daughters (let's face it--9 kids is a lot of kids!). 

There was one little girl that didn't have a mother there and there was something about her that broke my heart as much as it made me realize that she was going to be ok.  She was very quiet, rather backward and didn't make much eye contact.  When the pack of girls went left, she went right.  When they all picked out matching Princess outfits for their bears, she picked out a Colts Cheerleading outfit.  She was the only girl that did that.  She didn't warm to me quickly, but she was warmer to me than the other moms.  I realized when I was spending time with her that she was me as a child.  I was very quiet and backward.  I was more comfortable with adults than kids and I always went my own way, even when it was painful.  My mom and I have had this conversation many times--will MayLing be like me as a kid or like me now?  Those that know me now always think I am joking when I tell them how quiet I was.  I would only laugh around people I was comfortable with, but around everyone else I withdrew into a shell.  Or, will MayLing be like me now?  Outgoing, never-met-a-stranger, easy going? 

I looked at little Kelsie and even though she was quiet and didn't want to hold hands with any of the other little girls, I knew she was going to be ok.  She would find her own way.  She didn't need the rest of us to direct her path--she was going to march to the beat of her inner drummer and now follow the music of the crowd. 

My host later told me that Kelsie's mom is very sick.  Her mom is Asian-Canadian (Korean perhaps?) and her dad is white American.  While visiting family in Canada this summer she became very ill and has been hospitalized since then.  Kelsie did mention to me towards the end of the party that her mom is sick and that she hopes to see her this Christmas.  My heart breaks for this girl and her family.  From personal experience I know how those early personal traumas really shape a personality.