Freedom's Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose...

Today is my last day of freedom--I return to the working world at 7:30 am Monday morning. Since I likely won't have a chance to post again until Sunday or Monday (the Lotus Festival is in town and I will be involved tonight and tomorrow night) I wanted to share some of my thoughts about my unemployment, things that I am thankful for and other things that I noticed.

• Being without a job is scary. No amount of assurances from friends are family diminish that fact. It doesn't matter if you are over qualified for a job, there is no guarantee they will call you. Look at me--it took BH over 8 weeks from the time I applied to the time they offered and it was a full 10 weeks from my end time to start time.
  
• Being jobless is a very isolating affair. Because my money was so limited I didn't feel free to go out window shopping or go out to dinner with friends. My only outings were when I went out on Saturdays and Sundays. Thank God for phone calls from Mom and Terri because otherwise I would go days without talking to anyone. It's also hard to leave the house because you keep waiting for one of the places you applied to call you. Even though I always included a cell phone number, no one ever called it. So, if a friend of yours suddenly becomes unemployed, please reach out. Don't invite them to things that cost money (unless you are paying), but try to get them out of the house. Invite them to dinner at your house, take them for a walk, have movie night at your house and rent some light-hearted fare. That's the other problem with unemployment--too much time spent in your own head. I have spent too much time reading the news and that's scary. I have spent way too much time on-line, not just cruising careerbuilders or monster.com, but reading RQ and reading other people's adoption blogs. It's too much input and not enough output.
  
• Your food expenses go up. I wasn't eat out for lunch as I had before, but suddenly I was looking at increased Kroger expenses.
  
• You do less laundry. As a kid I would alternate between 2 outfits all summer long. By the end of the summer they would both be in shreds. Same thing this summer. The only thing in my laundry basket was undies and whichever outfit I wasn't wearing.
  
• You keep the house a lot cleaner.
  
• You have more unannounced visitors because everyone knows where you are.
• Your neighbors start talking...why is she home day after day? Did she win the lottery?
  
• You are more rested and have energy to do things you haven't done before.
  
• You find your natural sleep cycle. For me, I have always been a night owl and from the first day I lost my job through tomorrow night (when Lotus ends) I have gone to bed at 2 am or later and I get up around 9-10 am. I'm not lazy, I've actually been much more productive.
• I'm so thankful for having the time to get things done around the house before MayLing comes home. Chances are I would never have done even a fraction in the next year. Let me see if I can remember everything that was done--painted the mantel, painted some shelves, sanded and stained a table and chairs, started and finished my landscaping in the front, painted the shutters, painted the front door and the milk cans (long story), finished painting the nursery and assembled all the furniture, painted all my bedroom furniture. The only thing left to do is the mural in the nursery and painting the spare bedroom. I'm still hoping some strong man will want to help me move the furniture in there so I can start that.
  
• When you are without a job, you are no longer tethered to life as you know it. How many of us would love to travel or get involved in new activities, but we can't because we have a job? Have you ever just wanted to get in your car and drive west as far as you could, but you couldn't because you would have to turn around at some point and return to your normally scheduled life? When you don't have a job (and family as well) there is a certain amount of freedom that allows--you have lost what gives you ability to live your life, so you are forced to examine life a bit different. In doing so, you really have nothing left to lose and that realization gives you a tremendous amount of freedom.
• You question every purchase...even bubble gum. Do I really need it? What else can I put that $1.29 towards?
  
• I have developed a nervous tic. I'm assuming it's a nervous tic because it wasn't there until after I lost my job. It was also present the first few months the last time I started a new job. It's too creepy--I have a tic in my right eye lid. As long as I look straight-ahead things are hunky-dory, the moment I look down, as if to read a book, it starts spasming like a sugared up child with ADD. So it's fun to read a book because I can't look down (which is how I normally read). Now I lay on my back and put the book in front of my face. Yeah, it's all about adaptation.
• You go through a boat-load of asswipe. I'm not kidding. I'm going through a roll of the Cottonelle double rolls every 2-3 days, sometimes more. Makes me wonder how much I was costing my employer to use the bathroom.