Ok, I would be the rude one in this case but I'm feeling slightly justified. I was in the gym enjoying my workout when I was approached by the friend of someone I know. This someone I know had spilled the beans about my adoption to everyone she knows--co-workers, friends, bag boys at Kroger. While I'm happy that she is so excited for me, I had explicitly requested that my adoption just be known to my prayer group. It didn't stay that way for long. So this is the conversation:
Her: So, any news about the thing that I'm not supposed to talk about?
Me: (not supposed to talk about?? You aren't even supposed to know about it!). No news. I won't hear anything until after the Olympics this fall and I will still have another two years wait at that time.
Her: (I could tell she was about to launch into some litany about how unfair it is...blah blah blah...trust me, I've already heard it).
Me: Yeah, this is why I didn't want people knowing about the adoption. It's just too hard to have to answer all these questions all the time. Trust me, when I hear something everyone will know about it.
Her: (looking embarrassed)
Me: Don't worry about it. You aren't the first one to say anything. I'm just trying to tell people it's a touchy subject for me.
I then let her launch into the litany about it giving me time to prepare, etc.
This is the second person that has approached me this week that I did not personally share this news with. Maybe if I felt the care was genuine I would be ok with it, but for the most part I feel like I have suddenly become that slightly weird, hip chic in high school that people wanted to hang out with, but were too afraid to because they just didn't understand.
I'm not a total jerk. Some people generally are interested in adoption and I am happy to educate. Just yesterday I ran into someone from church who asked about the progress, but then began to ask more specific questions. Although she has 3 kids, I can't help but wonder if she is considering adoption. Her questions were very specific and she wanted information about certain countries. This isn't the first time she has sought me out for some information so I know her heart is definitely turning to adoption.
See? I'm not a total jerk.
2 comments:
We are human, we put up walls for potentially rude/mean/thoughtless comments. We forget that people out of our community have no way of knowing how excruciating the pain is. We teach those we care to teach, and defend ourselves to those we didn't get to yet. My thoughts are we are just as justified to get pissed off as the 9 month pregnant woman who gets asked for her due date, or asked how she's feeling on a 90 degree day with kankles. If they get to be bitchy and hormone crazy.... well then so do we. We work with those same raging emotions for year(s). Keep the faith....
I don't think you were rude. UGH! I am so sorry the beans were spilled...let's refry them and make some margaritas! :)
I saw a plaque once that read "Don't meddle in affairs of fairies for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." We could make you one that says, "Don't ask me about my adoption because you are crunchy and good with ketchup!" Just think if we had even a PENNY for every dumb question...the adoption would be paid for AND we'd still be rich! Too bad that doesn't happen - hey, how bout, "I will answer your question for 50 cents?????"
I am on a roll today!
Be blessed, friend!
Angie
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