The Mad Musings of MayLing's Mama

I feel like a bit of a skeeze (wow, not sure where that word came from!) but I think it is justified. In the 1-2 mile radius of where I live I have a two grade schools, a middle school and a high school. In fact, all I have to do is walk to the end of my road and there is the monstrosity we refer to as "the prison". So, what is the point of this story, you ask? Well, my house is at the epicenter of all these schools so this is where all the kids come to peddle their Girl Scout cookies, Boy Scout popcorn, and whatever else they sell on behalf of their school. It's not that I'm against them selling, but what do I need this stuff for? I need another box of cookies like I need another 5 lb weight gain. Yeah, my pants are still tight after eating in Dallas for a week. Can one person really eat 5 lbs of flavoried popcorn? I'm sure I could, but I think running out of ass wipe would be the least of my worries. And what about the other trinkets and trash? I HAVE NO WHERE TO PUT IT. It was a huge undertaking to turn my junk/overflow room into a nursery and as per my pact with Kristen, I have no intention of putting any non-baby stuff back in there.

Well, I think I have finally found the perfect answer that gets me off the hook and I don't have to lie. Here is the situation as it unfolded 15 minutes ago:

Cute little blond Boy Sout: Will you buy some popcorn for the Boy Scouts of America?

Me: I'm sorry. I've already been asked by someone else.

Did you catch it? I had already been asked. I didn't buy squat from the last person that asked either.

And, yes, after the posts I have left today you can call me Ebenzer Scrooge.