In honor of completing my taxes...

It is Monday and I want to resume my "mama wants" section.  In honor of finally completing my taxes today, this is on my list:

Ok, I realize it is a bit tacky, but did you know you get $3,400 back when you have one dependent????  My baby will be rockin' a whole lot of cooler onesies than this if I get some sweet cash back. 

I have so many things I need, I sometimes forget about what I want.  What I really need is shoes.  Now that I am not traveling I will have the time to go to the gym after work.  Unfortunately, the tread is worn off my shoes which makes the gym track very slick.  Perhaps I will take the $21 from my state tax return and put it towards something pretty (insert sarcasm). 

Not a morning person

I am not a morning person.  I don't think it matters what side of the globe I wake up on, I will likely never be a morning person.  This weekend was an evil combination of not being a morning person, having to listen to a bunch of idiots run and scream up and down the hallway well past the 1 am, waking up coughing and wheezing because of the the amount of cigarette smoke and mold being vented around my room.  yeah, not a morning friendly weekend.  Thank God I didn't have to share a room with one of my colleagues--I would not have wished that on anyone. 

Last night the damn kids (and adults) were yelling up and down the hallway "I'm going to the pool?  You coming?"  I was ready to scream back at them "NOOOOO, I'm not so shut up!"  Alas, they weren't speaking to me.

Last night I spent most of the evening hanging with my two best buds from work.  I hung out in Ricci's room until midnight since she didn't seem to have as a high a mold count as my room.  As I was trying to sneak quietly back to my room, I admit, I got a little scared.  The hallways were dark (because the lights are burned out) and several of the rooms had their doors propped open with towels or underwear (yes, underwear).  I was lost because there are no signs and the hotel had several different wings.  As I was going past one propped open door I heard one guy say "get you ass over here!  Somebody needs a spanking."  Honestly, the music from the movie Deliverance started going through my head. 

And because I got lost I had to walk past that room twice.  Isn't it amazing that I am exposed to more hillbilly culture traveling to the Indiana/Kentucky state line than actually going south? 

We stopped at one local restaurant on Friday for lunch and the locals STARED.  It will pretty obvious that they had us pegged as NOT LOCAL and all I can say is THANK GOD.  Yes, I realize that my attitude probably sounds rather harsh, but I'll be honest, I grew up in an area pretty similar to that.  Not a good place to live for a girl who's heart has always been in China and not in manure.  Without looking I can identify cow, pig, and horse manure on smell alone.  I can look at and smell corn and know when it is time to harvest and I know that you never shake hands with a man wearing bib overalls and "dirt" under his nails.  Hint: the dirt isn't dirt, it's manure.

I finally figured out at 1:30 AM (after listening to doors slam and people running and yelling up and down the hall) that my best course of action would be to turn the air/heat unit all the way to fan and blast it on high.  It sounded like a jet engine taking off and was just the kind of white noise I needed to block out the other noises.  It was so loud that I didn't hear my alarm when it went off. 

I got some passive-aggressive revenge this morning.  At 7 AM, Ricci and walked through the now deserted and quiet hallway talking in our "outside voice" about going to the pool.  All the way up and down and hallway and when I left, I slammed the door hard enough to make the wall shake.  I know it's not productive, but boy did it feel good. 

You know it's a bad hotel when even the hotel staff know not to ask how you are enjoying your stay.  And in case you are wondering about why I didn't get the hotel staff to intervene...I did.  Nothing happened.  The hotel was full and they couldn't care less.

But I don't want to end this on a negative note, because I actually had a good time--I just hated the hotel and as I said, I'm an absolute bear when I don't get enough sleep and am forced to sleep in a room that causes me to feel that ill.  I still have hives, but hopefully I don't pick up anything else (like bed bugs or plantar warts).

The conference was good, I had a good time with my colleagues and evidently my new nickname is Chuckles.  Yeah, Jason felt that was appropriate.  I have to be honest, I tend to "perform" when I am in a group of people and because I was under-slept and over-caffeinated it made me even sharper.  I really enjoyed bonding with some of my colleagues and spending time with them.  This time together does create team building--much needed in my department! 

This hotel sucks!

I am once again on the road. I rode down with a couple of friends/colleagues from work and we had a great time together. The conference is interesting, but at this point, over my head. Fortunately there are a lot of novices here and I hope to get a better understanding as we progress so that I can sit for the certification exam (several years down the road).

We are staying at a Holiday Inn with a water park. As a result, this room is moldy as hell. Unfortunately that just happens to be my worst allergy (well, it probably ties with feathers--also a medieval allergy). So, I get to this incredibly crappy room, at the end of a very long hallway, where a bunch of young people are staying (did I mention they have a huge indoor pool area???) and I immediately start reacting. My eyes start twitching, I start getting the drainage down the back of the throat, coughing, sneezing, and my personal favorite--hives. I currently have hives on my face. After 15 minutes of trying to tough it out I call to the front desk and explain the problem. Evidently they are completely booked because of this conference and the best they can offer is an ozone (?) machine. So, they supposedly sucked out the allergens in 15 minutes. What I think they really did was put a big fan in here for a few minutes and spray some room deoderizer. I only have enough allergy medication to get me through the weekend; I didn't break any extra doses.

This sucks. So, if my airway becomes impaired I will just wheel my crap to the front desk and sleep on the couch. That should encourage them to find me a new room. In the meantime, do you know color concealer would cover up the pink hives?

Hit reset

My mom is so awesome.  She read my last post and left a comment telling me to wash the chicken.  To be honest, I normally do but I was so grossed out by the texture the only thing that got washed was my hands. 

Do you ever have those moments where you feel bored and restless and kind of weird all at once?  I seem to get like this whenever I need to go somewhere or get stuff done and am procrastinating.  In this case, I am leaving tomorrow morning, once again, for another conference.  Fortunately, I will be back Sunday evening. I will be going with some colleagues from work.  Also fortunate, the people I am driving down with have become good buds of mine.  We all volunteered to work a night shift together in December and are all a bit quirky.  I guess that is why we are traveling in a separate vehicle from everyone else. 

I have been so unmotivated to do anything.  Some of it is due to having this nasty respiratory bug the last 3 weeks, being tired and all the travel I have done over the last few weeks/months.  I am just tired.  All I want to do is sit and crochet baby blankets for hours on end.  Seriously, that is how I learned to "knock" myself out when I am stressed.  My house is a disaster and strange as it may sound, it smells like bad chicken in here (I forgot to take the trash out last night).  I have clumps of cat hair all over the house, newspapers strewn across the kitchen table, dirty dishes that have sat on the counter since the weekend.  Ugh.  And I still have not completed my taxes. 

I feel like I just need to take some time off, but because I lost all my maternity leave when I lost my job last year (they cashed out my measly 3 weeks of PTO, but kept my 6 weeks of sick time) I feel like I can't afford to do so.  I would really like to have at least 6 weeks saved up for maternity leave and because this job accrues PTO so slowly, I'm afraid to take time off.  Even if I don't take another day paid day off this year I will only have 5 weeks saved.  I know that probably sounds awesome to you, but I'd like to have a cushion in the event I get sick or I seriously need a vacation. 

Anyway, that's the mess that's working through my head today.  I'm tired, my jeans suddenly feel snug and I am probably about to come face-to-face with some aggressive PMS. 

Can I just hit reset and start over next week?

Motherhood

Do you ever have those moments when you think you are going to suck at motherhood?  I do.  Every time I look around my messy house I think my poor kid is going to think cat hair covering everything is the norm. 

And at what point do I graduate from calling my mom for stupid stuff?  Ok, I have a great example but you guys are going to think I'm gross, but I promise I haven't gotten food poisoning yet.  So, on Saturday early afternoon I pull a pound of chicken out of the freezer and set it on the counter.  I totally forget about it until the next morning, and yes, it is still cold.  I put it back in the fridge, but I didn't get around to cooking it up.  Until today.  I pulled it out and it still looked good.  I opened up the package and sniffed vigorously--still smelled good.  I sliced it up to throw in the pan and noticed that it was very sticky.  Tacky even.  I will admit, I debated calling my mom and asking if it was ok.  I knew she would ask about the smell and color and both were ok.  I said a prayer and decided to fix it up anyway (give me a break, I don't have any groceries and I am way too tired to go to the store tonight).  I tasted a bit of it and it tasted fine, but I decided to season it with a packet of Taco season just to be sure.  It's been a couple of hours and I'm still ok. 

My mom always thawed food out on the counter overnight and none of us ever got sick.  As a nurse, pizza would often sit out for over 12 hours and we would still eat it and not get sick.  I'm not saying people shouldn't be careful, but I do think our country has gotten a bit too germophobic in recent years.  Part of the reason we now have these resistant super-bugs is because of our almost maniacal desire to kill every little living bug and we take antibiotics every time we get the sniffles (for the record, sniffles and colds are generally viruses and are NOT sensitive to antibiotics--they are only good for bacteria). 

I am sure I will probably become a freak about the food once my kid comes home, but until then I am giving my immune system a work out and debating whether I should call my mom or not.

My baby's daddy

I've been having these wacky dreams lately that I am pregnant...and adopting.  While I think I can handle one child, I don't think I could possibly have one child and be pregnant and doing it alone.  So, I have to look at my options.  Short of hog-tying a hottie or going the frozen turkey baster route, I need a plan that is infallible. 

So, as you saw from my previous post I have become exploring my options.  If Vladmir or Dimitry looked anything like this guy I would certainly give it some serious thought, but alas, he/they don't. 

So, I'm moving on to the next phase of finding my baby daddy.  Michael was nice enough to point me in this direction:

Hot Prison Pals

That's right...they are one of the last explored frontiers.  And I think I'm feeling something already.  Check out Roger's profile:

ROGER

HOT

I stand 6'2" and weigh 210 solid Muscular pounds. I work out daily and try to take care of my health. I am currently locked up in Montana for possession and robbery. When I was arrested, I was a C.N.A. entering medical school for my P.A. License, now I spend my time studying Psychology and am considering a degree there. I also play guitar, sing, and draw. My artwork has done well over the last few years, and I actually make a living off it. Maybe if I hear from you....I will send you something. I know in my picture I look like a tough guy....but inside...I'm a TEDDY BEAR. I am looking for a Woman to build a friendship with, so if you enjoy hitting the gym, or even quiet nights at home...drop me a line and say HI!
Date of Birth : 1/11/74
Date of Release : 8/2010

I really think it might work.  After all, his release date is hopefully around the time MayLing comes home.  He can be a daddy to her and help make a little brother or sister for her. 

Of course, I feel all tingly when I look at Dale's profile also.

Inmate Ad:

Hello, My name is Dale. I am a 37 year old man currently incarcerated in XXXXXX Correctional Center, Illinois.  Prior to incarceration, I owned my own construction business.  So my finances here well in order.  

My interests are horseback riding, camping, working out and long evenings by the fireplace.

I am looking for a sincere, warm caring woman, to share my hopes, dreams and interests with.  Write me and share yours with me.!

P.S. I love a country girl at heart and please send me a picture. Your truly, Dale

 

...and let's not forget Brent.

 BRENT

HOT

Hi...my name is Brent and I am 27 years old, with brown hair and blue eyes and from Michigan.  I'm open minded....believe life is what we
make of it....trust in God.....cherish friendship and family....enjoy music... having a good time....and learning from my mistakes.  I'm
looking to get to know you, to share with each other , our ups and downs, with trust and truth.

Date of Birth:11/13/80
Date  of Release : 2010

I do like younger men and I certainly would like my baby's daddy to be a Christian.

So, what do you think? Do you think any of these guys could use a little mama lovin?

**Disclaimer: this is only a joke! I do not want any of these guys contacting me.

Mail order male?

So, I was talking to Kristen tonight and we started discussing mail order husbands.  I wasn't sure they existed so I had to Google and sure enough, they do.  There are some rough looking fellas on there, mostly from the Ukraine.  If that is what they are offering, I thought I'd look into what the women were offering and this is what I found:

The Lonely American

General Information:

I do not like children. There was a slight mishap in my
last job, and let's just say that I had to spend a few
nights in jail. My addiction to pain killers only makes me
more laid back. I like to play my french horn at 2-4 a.m.,
weekdays. Can I play your french horn? Some people say
that I'm a bit "roudy" but the truth is, I just like jogging
naked. My last boyfriend was so ashamed of this habit that
he bought me a tredmill so I could do it inside.

Apperance:

I have a nice body with lots of brown moles. I do not shave
or use deoderant because they use animal oils. Small
patches of hair. Two tattoos (I'll tell you where they're
located in the letters). Both are names of ex-lovers. I
cannot remove them, otherwise I would. I weigh 150 pounds
on Mars. I wear a 36 DD cup bra.

Looking for:

I'm looking for an open-minded man. Someone who can accept
my genital warts. Appearance is not important. Maybe
someone that's hairy...short...sexy.

 

And here is what the men are offering:

General Information:

Hallo! My name Vladimir and man of 18 years. I have wife but
do not love her. I have child in secondary school 1 girl my
wife making me stay home feed child. I would like to leave
her very much so and find sexful lady. I enjoy to buke and
trampoline much and very hard to. Father being Starshina in
CCCP Red Army but they shoot for he being looting after
Ukraine indepent. I come from military family but no
military I am peace and love all the way hey! USA!

Apperance:

Before I lose hair it of sexy style. I dress prefessional in
week and "letting lose" on weekend to be sexy for dance
party in disco club. I want to dance with goodest dancer in
USA. Good are you?

Looking for:

You see I need sexful lady with romance in life and living.
I am young live fast I need fast lady to keep up with my
speedy. Must be very slim under 45 kilogram. Blonder hair
better being I see blonde is sexful and full of romantic. I
like personality to maybe you like my personality and we
"hitting it off" as say in USA!

Or how about this lovely:

General Information:

I am a retired millitary officer. I like fishing and sport
most of all.

Apperance:

I am calm and tempered man. I have two daughters but they
live together with their mother.

Looking for:

I want to meet a sexy, pretty, tall, non-smoking, not fat,
honest, clever, with a sense of humor, neat lady who wants
to become ideal and want to create a good family.

 

You know, being single is actually pretty good.  Most days I wouldn't trade it for all the Vladmirs in the world!

Happy Easter

It's Easter Sunday and it's snowing: do you know where your Spring is?

Wasn't Spring, like, two days ago?  

Photo day

What's the perfect activity when you are avoiding your taxes, it's 35* and dreary?  Why, taking photos, of course!

Michael and I took a little trip over to Columbus, Indiana which is ranked 6th in the nation for architectural innovation and design by the American Institute of Architects.  Art is everywhere!  Even the schools look like gifts erected to the gods of art.

Enjoy.

 

   (this church is actually a reflection on the mirrored building I was taking a photo of)

(it was so freakin' cold that even the trees needed scarves)

(the kid's door to the Children's Museum)

Free day?

This is the first Saturday I've had where I didn't have to be somewhere.  No lessons, no appointments.  What to do?

Well, I know I really need to do my taxes.  Completing them might actually help the financial pinch I'm in right now.  But what do I do when I want to avoid doing something I know I need to do?  First, I clean.  If I still insist on procrastinating I will take a nap.  Not just any nap, a nap that lasts the better part of the afternoon.  Avoidance naps. 

So far I have finished cleaning off my desk...now I'm feeling very sleepy. 

I'm home!

Home, sweet home.  The taxi I arranged picked Mom up at the hotel 30 minutes early and subsequently picked me up 45 minutes early.  We got to the airport way too early and I talked Mom and the co-worker that tagged along into getting stand-by on an earlier flight.  I'll admit, this hasn't worked for me in the past, but my mother is my lucky charm.  I swear, I just need to rub her head in front of anything that is giving me trouble and voilà, it's better!  We managed to go from a 3:45 flight to a 12:55 flight (ok, everything takes off late from Dallas, but still!) and I was pulling into my driveway at 6:15 PM.  Ah, it is so good to be home!

Ok, a few bullet points about the past few days:

• Dallas/North Texas had awesome weather.  Seriously, it was 75*, sunny, and beautiful when we left today.
• Lewisville/Dallas is boring as hell.  I am sorry to say this because I know I have at least one Lewisville reader (I'm so sorry!).  I think that I have become so spoiled living in B-town.  I have art, culture, live music and shows nearly every night of the week and the town doesn't sleep.  It's a college town with a vibrant community of people with varied interests.  
• The people in Lewisville/Dallas are awesome!  They are the friendliest group of people I have ever met.  Even my mom had to say she was impressed with everyone at the hotel.  It really is like staying with family.  People just treat you like you have always been there.  It's awesome.  If you ever need a hotel suggestion for the area, just let me know.
• Married men suck.  Seriously, what the heck?  If it only happens once, I can shake it off as a fluke.  But several times...creepy.  Trust me, there is nothing about me that says "I like married men".   I refuse to even chat online with married men, regardless of what they want to chat about.  In the last class, we had a total of 8 students.  This time the class size dropped to 4.  The last time I was there the married man asked me out for dinner several times (I refused of course) and I only conceded and went to a movie when another student agreed to go as well.  Every single night this week, he asked me out to dinner.  Alone.  He insisted on eating lunch with me everyday, would seek me out during breaks.  And the kicker...he drove me crazy!  He was constantly bossing me around in class, which those that know me can probably guess how well that went over.  Today, I'd had enough.  I got so irritated with him that I told him if he persisted, I would throw something at him.  He persisted, and true to my word, I winged a pen at his head.  He's lucky...I really wanted to throw the stapler. 
• I have Monday off from work because I will be working all next weekend.  Fortunately, I will be traveling with some good buds from work--it should be fun.
• I learned that I am being moved at work.  I LOVE the people on the third floor that I work with, but evidently, they feel that I should be with the other analysts/builders on the fourth floor.  I agreed to it as long as I moved in an office with another experienced builder.  Uh, evidently they missed that part.  I'm moving into an office.  By myself.  Sucks.  At least Dad brought me a lot of candy to give away to my new floormates (Dad works for a big name candy company and gets the read good goodies before they are released on the market--I love having connections). 
• I have a sinus infection and bronchitis.  It's gross.  My breath smells like snot. 
• I'm so glad to be home. 

I heart home

I am so missing home right now. I love spending time with my mom and we have enjoyed several fun-filled trips in the past, but the one thing missing here....fun. No offense to the locals, but this town is boring as hell. The only thing to do is eat or drink and that is per the locals. Everything closes at five, which coincidentally, is when I finish my training for the day. I haven't turned my own TV on in over 3 weeks and yet here we are every evening after dinner, me on the laptop and mom working on her sudoku puzzles and watching TV.

Am I getting smarter? I have no idea. Last time I was here I thought my brains were leaking out of my head. This time my head doesn't hurt, but that may be from all the cough medicine I've been taking. I know I've been rather sassy in class which may or may not be an issue come Friday at test time.

The weather today was awesome...which is good because yesterday really sucked. Evidently there were tornadoes at the airport while we were in class. They cancelled all of the flights from yesterday late morning through this morning. Hopefully they will be caught up by the time we leave on Friday.

I'm hoping mom doesn't get us killed. This town is not pedestrian friendly--oh how I miss B-town! I love that they have handicap accessible crosswalks--but no walk light for pedestrians. So we are having to dart across 6+ lanes of traffic. I guess it's one way to get the adrenaline flowing.

Greetings from Dallas!

It's been some crazy fun and here is our proof:

Ok, so not so crazy. I'm tired. I had a big day yesterday and I did not plan this trip out too well. That's my mom--already in bed and it is only 9:15! Unfortunately she is on her own during the day until I get back from my class in the late afternoon/evening. Did you know everything in Dallas closes at 5 pm??? Even one of the malls closes at 6 pm. I'm a little worried that she is going to be BORED all day and then everything will be closed by the time I return. She is going to go stir crazy. If any of you live or work in the Dallas/Lewisville area, drop me a line. I'm not too sure what to do to keep us entertained.

I got a new camera!

The one ordered a month ago still has not arrived so I canceled the order and bought a new one while in Indy today. Check out the clarity in these pics!

Feeling kind of weird

I don't know how to describe it better.  I feel restless, but tired.  I haven't slept well since the go-live project 3 weeks ago when my sleep schedule got all messed up.  I have gone off caffeine, but barely.  I go to bed at night and just lay there with my eyes closed.  The time ticks slowly by while I wait to fall asleep.  The sad thing is that I begin fantasizing about bedtime as soon as I get up in the morning. 

I've come down with a sinus/bronchitis ick most likely related to the soon-to-bloom Spring allergy season.  I don't know...I'm just out of sorts.  It's like I am waiting for something and nothing is happening, but nothing is filling that place.  I haven't turned on the TV for weeks.  Actually, that's not entirely true.  I turned it on Tuesday or Wednesday for a few minutes but I quickly got bored.  I've even been watching online TV programs.  Who knows what is going on...I'll just be glad when April 1st comes and life will settle down a bit for me.

Ok, time for some news bits.

• Treffly Coyne, the woman who was arrested in December for leaving her sleeping 2 year-old in a running, locked car while she walked her other kids to a Salvation Army kettle, had her charges dropped.  I know parents tend to split on this issue, but c'mon...I don't think she did anything to put her daughter in harm's way.  The car was locked and easily in her eyesight (since she illegally parked in the yellow in front of the store--give her a ticket for that).  Someday I hope to have two kids, but it makes me nervous thinking that my neighbors might call the cops on me for leaving one in the car while getting the other one in the house.  Good grief.
• MEXICO CITY - When Manuel Uribe went out on a date, he made all the necessary arrangements: a forklift to carry him out of the house and a flatbed tow truck big enough to haul the formerly half-ton man and his bed to a party. Ok, I'd like to know how an 800# man has a girlfriend and I haven't had a date in a year.  Hmmm?
• TULSA, Okla. - Two fortune cookies helped Tulsa police make an arrest after a pair of break-ins at Chinese restaurants.  You know, I'd really like to know what their fortunes were.  "Be quick or lose your treasure"?
• Prostitution Advances in a Wired World.  I've been looking at ways that I can work from home once the kiddo arrives.  Maybe I can be a high paid digital madam?  I don't actually have to do any of the hard stuff, but I can book the appointments.  If you missed the funny in that sentence, you ain't too bright, peeps. 

As God as my witness...

God, and everyone that reads this blog, know that I have spent entirely too much time in the bathroom, but this is ridiculous!

13 Months

Dearest MayLing,

I have waited for you for thirteen months and not a day of this wait have I not thought of you and prayed for you and your birth mother.  I pray that where ever you are--whether you have been conceived or not--that you are surrounded by love and God's arms comfort both you and your first mother. 

Rest assured, I will wait however long I need to wait whether it is  thirteen months or thirty-three.  In my heart you rest and my hopes for you increase with each passing day. 

Love,

Mama

Medical gripe

A year and a half ago I made an appointment with my mother's dermatologist who's office is over an hour away.  I had been seeing one locally, but was not getting the results I wanted, but I saw a dramatic improvement in my mother's skin in about a six month period of time.  I remember making the appointment only a few days after I received my LID and I remember thinking "wow, when I go to this appointment it will be the day before my 13 month LIDversery".  Of course I also thought I would have a referral by then, but I digress. 

I once had someone tell me I was an open book.  When I asked why she thought so,  I was told it was because I talked so openly about my poop.  Poop, to me, is not a personal issue.  We all poop.  I am actually a very private person which is why I am unsure how long I will leave this current post up, but I feel a bit irritated so I feel I must proceed. 

I have PCOS (no, I'm not going to define it, you can Google it).  I was diagnosed when I was 16 and I have had ongoing issues with it ever since.  While it is one of the biggest causes of untreatable infertility, this in NO WAY influenced my decision to adopt.  I have never tried to get pregnant so I don't know it is impossible.  Evidently the majority of the women in my family were told they would never be able to get pregnant and lo and behold, they have several kids each. 

Unfortunately the PCOS causes acne because of its affect on my hormones.  My previous dermatologist wouldn't even address this issue, even though it is the causative factor.  Not only would he not address it (and this is why I am so annoyed right now) my personal OB/GYN would not address it.  Because I also have endometriosis, I have been put into that "box" and anytime I try to get them to address my PCOS and hormone issues, they try to re-focus me on endometriosis.  Believe it or not, I can actually tell the difference in the two disorders because they AFFECT DIFFERENT ORGANS.  Last time I had a major cyst rupture (ok, I guess I am basically explaining to you what PCOS is), I was off work for 3 days because I couldn't stand up straight.  Would they do an ultrasound?  No.  They said it was due to my endometriosis and an US wasn't warranted. 

In January I was tired of the near chronic pain and I saw my family doctor, who does not specialize in OB concerns, but who decided it was in my best interest to have one "." per season. 

Ok, so fast forward to today.  I saw the dermatologist and we reviewed the causes of acne and once I told her I had PCOS she began asking if I was taking one of several different androgen blocking agents.  No, I'm not.  Every time I have brought this up to my OB she always brushes right by it.  She asked when the last time I had my hormone levels checked and I told her I had never had my hormone levels checked.  She said based on my symptomology and the past ultrasound results that they may not have thought it was necessary, but she wants to get those levels checked.  She also decided to prescribe one of the androgen blocking agents because it SHOULD help with the acne production. 

How sad is it that a dermatologist is prescribing meds that my OB/GYN should have been prescribing for years? 

A couple of weeks ago I was in the cashier's office at work paying off a blood test, and I began talking to a woman who also has PCOS and her doctor put her on metformin despite the fact that her glucose levels are normal and she shows no signs of glucose resistance.  Her symptoms improved and she lost the 80# inner tube around her waist (another symptom of PCOS). 

I've been thinking of seeing a different OB/GYN for quite some time.  I rarely see mine as it is, because my family doctor seems to actually address my concerns better than my OB, but it is disappointing to realize that I might have had better pain control and certainly better weight control, had I been prescribed the correct medications for my disorder.  I suddenly realized that the huge amount of weight I gained while on the steroids (40# total) may not be totally related to the increased appetite or fluid retention, but the corticosteroids probably ramped up my hormones artificially which also helped to pack on the pounds.

I'm not dissing doctors, I'm really not (well, maybe I am my OB/GYN).  What bothers me is that I am a nurse acting as my own knowledgeable medical advocate and I can't get my issues addressed.  If I can't get my issues addressed, what hope does the non-medical person have?  As a nurse, I have always listened to my patients concerns, helped where I could, and relayed the rest onto the appropriate parts of the medical team.  I guess I wish I'd had the same courtesy.

Oh, and I have two questionable moles that need to be removed the next time I see the new dermatologist.  Does she rock, or what!?!

Mama likey

Mama likes, she really does.  I was all set to buy this with my tax rebate or my refund (well, I haven't actually done my taxes yet so a refund is assuming a lot). 

And in response to my previous post my mom said, "well, I hope the woman he has confused you for isn't dead."  Well put, Mom.  Imagine trying to explain to someone that you saw Dead Marlene in the dairy aisle as she tried to knock yogurt off the top shelf (yeah, you'd think the old fart would have at least tried to help get it off the shelf for me). 

What did you say about my feet?

To shake things up today I decided to get my groceries from the east side of town.  For whatever reason the fruit and veggies at that Marsh are the best in town. 

I'm wandering slowly through the store since I'm not very familiar and I'm smiling at all those that are patient with my moseying about.  While in the dairy section an elderly man approaches me with a smile on his face and says "it's good to see you on your feet".  This statement implies one of two things:

1. I was ill.
2. He has seen me flat on my back.

I haven't been sick in over a year.  And I can count on one hand the number of people that have seen me horizontal.  The only way that man didn't see me on my feet is if he slipped me a roofie (he probably knows them better as mickies).

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Spring

With Spring comes the promise of new life.

Money Tree

This is the note that was taped to my front door the other day:

 

I think it might have been in response to this:

Yeah, that big, ugly tree that has been there for two months is still there.  Until we actually have consistently warmer days of 50* and above, it's not budging.  And no, Richard, I'm not giving you $60. 

You thought the first item on my wish list was scary...check this out

And here is what the ad had to say:

Whether you have a zeal for throwing steel or you're a cutlery connoisseur, this knife block is just for you. In 1938 the Wheel of Death introduced the spinning target and decades later knife throwing still lives on in the modern day circus. And it can live on in your kitchen with the Throwzini Knife Holder.

The Throwzini Knife Holder is made from hand-crafted wood and comes complete with five stainless steel knives. Each knife is held securely by magnets in individual protective sheaths. Just give the Throwzini a spin.

Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.

Rude, much?

Ok, I would be the rude one in this case but I'm feeling slightly justified.  I was in the gym enjoying my workout when I was approached by the friend of someone I know.  This someone I know had spilled the beans about my adoption to everyone she knows--co-workers, friends, bag boys at Kroger.  While I'm happy that she is so excited for me, I had explicitly requested that my adoption just be known to my prayer group.  It didn't stay that way for long.  So this is the conversation:

Her: So, any news about the thing that I'm not supposed to talk about?

Me: (not supposed to talk about??  You aren't even supposed to know about it!).  No news.  I won't hear anything until after the Olympics this fall and I will still have another two years wait at that time.

Her: (I could tell she was about to launch into some litany about how unfair it is...blah blah blah...trust me, I've already heard it). 

Me: Yeah, this is why I didn't want people knowing about the adoption.  It's just too hard to have to answer all these questions all the time.  Trust me, when I hear something everyone will know about it. 

Her: (looking embarrassed)

Me: Don't worry about it.  You aren't the first one to say anything.  I'm just trying to tell people it's a touchy subject for me. 

I then let her launch into the litany about it giving me time to prepare, etc. 

This is the second person that has approached me this week that I did not personally share this news with.  Maybe if I felt the care was genuine I would be ok with it, but for the most part I feel like I have suddenly become that slightly weird, hip chic in high school that people wanted to hang out with, but were too afraid to because they just didn't understand. 

I'm not a total jerk.  Some people generally are interested in adoption and I am happy to educate.  Just yesterday I ran into someone from church who asked about the progress, but then began to ask more specific questions.  Although she has 3 kids, I can't help but wonder if she is considering adoption.  Her questions were very specific and she wanted information about certain countries.  This isn't the first time she has sought me out for some information so I know her heart is definitely turning to adoption. 

See?  I'm not a total jerk. 

The Year of Me

I have already sat through the Year of the Dog, the Year of the Pig and now the Year of the Rat and I've decided one thing: this year is the Year of Me.  I have waited a year for a referral and in that year I squirreled away every penny I had for this adoption.  If I did buy anything, I bought can't-live-without-it baby items.  No more.  This year I am going to buy things for me because it may be one of the last years I get to do this.  So, in honor of this esteemed new holiday I will post a photo of something that I gotta have each week.  Just because I gotta have it, doesn't mean I do, but it will certainly be going on my list!  This doesn't mean I won't buy anything baby related...certainly not!  There are some baby things that an adoptive parent has to buy to just make it through the week.  So the first item on my gotta have it list is:

And in keeping with Chinese Zodiac renaming, next year will not be the Year of the Ox.  It will be the Year of the Turtle (credit goes to Kris for this name) and is so named because it will be between our 2nd and 3rd year of waiting and I'm sure the time will pass even slower than it does now.

Sunrise

Thank God for another sunrise.  They still have the ability to take my breath away and restore my soul.  It's a reminder that each day is a gift and that the most beautiful things can still be found in nature.  It's the sun, the wind, the stars that connect me to every other person on earth.   In this, we can all share God's beauty.