Kristina Rocks!

I received an e-mail from Kristina yesterday following my dossier review. In her own words it is "El Perfecto" so they will be sending it on Friday along with Shasta's dossier and possibly Devin's (from the Silk Road Sisters group). I'm not sure how many people are submitting this week, but I can promise you that I will be marking February 2nd down on my calendar! Since it is taking at least 30 days for an LID (log in date), I may have to put off my LID/Chinese New Year/nursery painting party until March. If there is a bright side, most of my friends probably don't know when Chinese New Year is so we shouldn't have a problem. I'll update again on Friday once I get the final ok from Kristina that my dossier was sent. I'm ready to party down and in Kristina's own words,"you can start breaking it down early and celebrate all the way through the weekend". I think she is on to something.

Snowflake the Dog

What an amazing weekend I had! What's also amazing is the way I was pulled back into reality and the humdrum pace of life. Yesterday afternoon, while I was speaking to my mom on the phone, I noticed Tom, my "neighbor" one block over and two blocks down, and his charming dog, Snowflake. I had met both last summer after I moved into my home. At the time, Tom let his dog poop in my yard while he was standing there talking to me.
Last week before I left for my whirlwind paperchase, I had noticed several piles of poop in my yard near where the paper boy throws my paper...talk about a serious yuck factor. So, back to yesterday and talking to my mom....I decided to open my door and stand in the doorway (it was 22 degrees, just so you know) when I saw Tom directing Snowflake to poop in my yard.
He turned to walk away so I yelled out, "Tom, you are going to pick up his poop, aren't you?"
Tom replied, "No, I don't have any bags." He could see that I wasn't going to budge and yelled back, "Do you have a bag?"
I handed a bag to him and he proceeded to excuse his mess, "Snowflake just couldn't wait until reaching the pit." I responded, "Tom, once is an accident, 4 times in a week is a habit. I have little kids that come over and I don't want them getting into it and I'm really tired of having to avoid it also." He shut up after that and went to collect his droppings.

When I got home tonight the snow was mostly melted...I counted 3 other deposits that he missed. Yuck.

Goodbye, for now

The Travels of Sherry and Erica are not yet over! On Saturday we collected Rosa, Sherry's one year-old daughter and navigated our way towards Evansville with a quick stop at Sherry's parent's house to drop off Rosa. We were to meet Kristina, my adoption coordinator, to drop off my dossier. She arrived late, but with gusto and horn blaring. She let us in the office and gave us a tour of the company. It was amazing! I didn't realize that many of them considered their position to a calling, not just a job. It was such a blessing to be able to see where they worked and where families were created. We took a tour of not only the China space, but of Guatemala, Brazil, India, Vietnam and Russia. We met some of the other coordinators and got to see how they match families and babies for Guatemala. In every office were pictures of the newly formed families. Some of the families were those that that particular coordinator created, but some were from other countries or from other coordinators and they had also fallen in love with that particular family and/or child. It was amazing how connected they felt to the parents and how much it meant to them to have photos of the kiddos once they came home. I have considered this to be an experience beyond words, and I was very happy and relieved to see they revered it the same way.

I love Kristina. She is awesome and just as feisty and opinionated as me! I thought we would just pop in to drop off the dossier, but she also checked in my documents and reviewed what would come next.

This weekend has been so incredible. This felt like my labor. Finally, I could see the results of all the work and it somehow seemed more real to me. I was glad to leave my dossier behind.

WOW

I had reserved a suite at Homewood Suites by Hilton in downtown Chicago. I've stayed at some nice hotels, but this one actually exceeded my expectations. Not only was it spacious, but everyone was very nice and helpful. We managed to make our way to the Chinese Embassy at One East Erie, but it was not nearly as impressive as I expected. I expected some grand building, but it was just an average city building that rented space on the same floor as a plastic surgeon and a consulting firm. We stood in line for a few minutes before I was made my way to the counter. For expedited services I was told to return at 2 pm for my documents. Sherry and I made our way back outside to the Windy City where we hid in the hotel for another before venturing out for some shopping.
In an effort to commemorate the experience, I wanted to buy something sort of extravagant that I normally would not purchase. A beautiful scarf from Nordstrom seemed to fit the bill! Now, every time I where it I will remember this beautiful experience.
Returning to the Chinese Embassy was an interesting experience. My documents weren't yet completed (even though I was over 30 minutes late), so it gave me time to reflect and think. There are some moments that stick with you for a lifetime, and I hope this time is one of them. It was this overwhelming feeling that this was it...I was nearly done with the paper work, but I was on to a more interesting destination....motherhood. Unlike most other expectant mothers, I could have backed out at any time, but I knew I wouldn't. I didn't want to. My heart pounded and my fingers fumbled at my money when the woman at the counter reported that my documents were completed. My legs felt funny as I left the embassy and it wasn't until I reached the end of the street until I felt strong again, but I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I could have cried. The sunlight hit my face, I took a deep breath and realized I was stepping in a new direction. A year from now my life will probably be very different that it is now.

Fun in the City

Well, the plan was to get out of work by noon and out of town by 1pm. Well, like all good plans, this one barely survived the morning. I finally got out of work around 12:40, and home shortly after that. I ate lunch with Sherry and the family before finally hitting the road. Sherry, has some impressive driving skills and an awesome sense of direction (thank you!) and we arrived at the Secretary of State's office for my state seals just after 2 pm.
What we didn't know was that at 3 PM all the cars parked in metered parking are towed so that people can you use that lane for rush hour traffic. Evidently the sign that says "no parking between 3-6 pm" was on the opposite side of where I deposited my money. Talk about a surprise! I would have walked for another block trying to find a car that had probably been towed only a few minutes before. We had to make some phone calls before we were able to locate the police station. We then had to walk to the police station, pay an $80 fine, and walk another mile or so to the towing company. The name of the towing company? Last Chance Wrecker. I couldn't help but laugh. It seemed so appropriate...Last Chance Adoption, Last Chance to complete a Chinese dossier, Last Chance Family.
If that's the worst that happens this weekend, I'm happy! We finally arrived in Chicago at 9pm Central time (aka 10 pm Bloomington time). We were so tired, we were stupid.

Chicago, here I come!

Well, on Monday after I didn't receive my I-171H I was understandably upset. The Indy INS office had missed their second time frame. After shooting off another e-mail to their office, I received a short reply "your I-171H was mailed today". Kristina, my coordinator, was justifiably dubious, but I was certain that this was it.
Today, I could think of nothing else but checking my mailbox at 2 PM. Two o'clock came around and I could have snuck out for a few minutes to check, but I realized that it no longer mattered. It was either there, or it wasn't, just like every other day in the last month that I have checked. I was nervous approaching the box, but there it was, right on top and looking very thick! I was worried that I was being denied, because I couldn't figure out why else it would be so thick.
Well, I should have known that it would arrive today. I had ordered a 365-Day Calendar of China and the DVD China's Lost Girls by the National Geographic and they also arrived.
So, Sherry and and I are leaving tomorrow at noon. We will be meeting Shasta in Indy at the office to get our state seals. Shasta also received her I-171H today (I have to admit to feeling a bit steamed that she was fingerprinted over 2 weeks after me and got hers back today--not mad at you, Shasta, just INS). After that we are on our way to Chicago. I booked us a nice room within a few walking blocks of the embassy and we should be done by early afternoon. Hallelujah!
I e-mailed Kristina, the best adoption coordinator ever, to let her know and to announce that we were coming down on Saturday to drop it off. This is how I know that she is the absolute best, this was her response to my e-mail: Shoot lady, I'm going to meet you on Saturday. After driving miles and miles you better believe that no drop box will be good enough. Call my cell or call me on Friday so I know when and where.
She's so awesome...if I didn't already have a baby name picked out, I would have named my daughter after her.
Ok, I should get ready for my little trip...I have to pack, re-pack, check, re-check and check again to make sure I have the right things.

Thanks to everyone who offered their support, prayers or assistance. Special thanks to Sherry who is sharing this journey with me and Laura for being public notary #1.

The I-171H Blues Revisited

It's been exactly 30 days now since my fingerprinting appointment and still I have received nothing. It is also the the first day of the new time window that Immigration gave me earlier this week. If I don't receive my form by Monday I'm considering it officially lost. Fortunately I have already contacted Senator Lugar and Bayh's office. I anticipate receiving calls from them Monday or Tuesday. Hopefully they will have a soft spot for some one trying to adopt an orphan, who after February will never have the chance again. Good grief! I sound like a Lifetime for Women movie.

The Silk Road Sisters are born!

Well, I decided to throw my energy into something that I can actively make a difference in. I am still waiting for you-know-what, but I refuse to sit by passively and just complain about it. I've done what I can. I've called and e-mailed the Indy Immigration office without luck. On Tuesday I did receive an e-mail finally stating that I would would receive information about my I-171H within 5-7 days. What does that mean? Do I get it or don't I? Anyway, today is day 29 since my fingerprinting appointment and tomorrow will be day 5 of the new wait. We shall see what happens next, but I am not getting too excited.

I have to admit to feeling highly competitive. It's the reason I always received A's when I was in school and why I never play cards or group sports. I get too irritated by the competition (aka, me not winning) to enjoy the games. Well, my coordinator let it slip in December that there were only 11 approved single applicants that were allowed to proceed with the adoption process in October. She also mentioned that I was always done before everyone else and that she bragged that her girl (me) was always ahead of the other single mommies. Well, no more. Last Friday, Kristen, pulled ahead and her dossier is currently en route to China. Rather than be a sore loser, I emailed my congratulations to her and we have been enjoying some very nice e-mails since then. From those emails I realized that many of us have not shared our adoption plans with any outside our immediate family/friend circle. We all need to talk which is why this blog has been so good to me. From this new friendship a new circle was formed. I sent out a post on our list serve group and a handful of people responded. Enough acknowledged the need that I decided to start our own group. Many of them submitted ideas for the group name, but ultimately I like Silk Road Sisters (and no, I did not come up with this). I hope that we will all get to know each other really well and hopefully be able to follow each other's progress through the time of submission to referral and pick-up. Some have expressed interest in meeting in person, and I hope that we will be able to set something up.

It doesn't really take two to tango

It really doesn't take two to tango as I proved tonight with Rhonda and Suzi. Nope, all you need is determination and the ability to laugh at yourself. I realized recently that this will be my last year as a single person. Hopefully, this time next year little MayLing will be here, but until then I am going to keep myself busy and have fun. Tonight (and the next 5 Monday nights) it will be tango. After that I'd like to try belly dancing again and who knows from there? If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. In this town we have so much available to us that it would be easy to find a new skill to learn each week.
Thank you so much for my friends who have been keeping me busy. You have no idea how grateful I am! Thanks to Suzi and Rhonda who learned to "walk" the tango with me tonight. Thanks to Michael, Tony, Fil, Denise, Sherry and everyone else who is keeping me busy with trips to Sam's Club (thanks, Tony!)., Wal-Mart, baby-sitting and parties.
Tony, Fil and I celebrated a late Christmas yesterday, but boy, was it fabulous! The boys wanted to make sure that this year was practical and introduced me to the world of Sam's Club. I have been into the store before, but since it is soooo exclusive my trips are few and far between. What a world!! I can't wait for Chennie and her family to visit from Hong Kong, I'm going to take them there for the day. I wasn't planning on buying anything, but I did pick up a new cell phone and I'm SOOOO excited. I could hardly force myself to go to bed and stop playing with it. I've loaded it with a few songs and now I can take obnoxious photos of people and email them to other people.....what a wild, wild world.
If a Sam's Club membership wasn't enough, the boys also got me bright pink flamingos for the yard. I'm not kidding. I was so excited that I danced around like a goon for a few minutes. Just imagine the tacky possibilities....I've already stuck them in the front garden next to the front door and have been cruising the Internet looking for seasonal clothes to dress them in.
I'm hoping we get some snow tonight, if so, I will take pictures of the Tom and Betty (the names of the flamingos) playing in the snow and put them on the blog.

The I-171H Blues

My mailbox is mocking me. I see it laughing at me, it's box leaning slightly to the left or right depending on how much the postman has stuffed in it. Initially I would check the box hopeful each day, even coming home on my lunch hour to check. NO MORE! The love affair with the mailbox has turned sour. By yesterday, I decided the exhaustion I felt was more related to I-171H stress than jet lag. I'm so tired I can't force myself into the gym, so the box has got to go!
I've decided that I have done what I can to intervene for the I-171H. I have written an e-mail and called the USCIS office twice this week with no response from them. How odd. I first thought that it meant the form was in the mail; now I'm thinking that they lost the whole file. If I don't hear something by next Friday (aka day 30 and the end of the suggested waiting period), I'm calling Evan Bayh and Dick Lugar. This is ridiculous. So, as part of my "therapy" I'm not going to mention the I-171H again until I receive it. There. I'm done.
This week raced by in a blur. I was tired from having a wacky sleep schedule and we were so busy. Or, I should say, I was so busy. The rest of the hospital was frighteningly slow. It was good to be busy and not have time to think. My friends have also been good to keep me busy on a few nights this week. Thanks Sherry, baby Rosa, and Michael. It amazes me the support that adoptive parents have on-line. I had sent out a prayer request about the you-know-what that I'm not going to talk about anymore on a general list-serve for one of the Yahoo groups I'm signed on with. Within hours people I had never heard of were contacting me with suggestions, advice and to let me know they were praying for me. What a surprise!

Thank Yous

Sherry, thanks for the ornament. It is the first thing I have received with MayLing's name on it. I love it. Kind of makes it seem real, you know?

Shasta, thanks for sharing the journey. When I'm down, you are there to cheer me up. When I'm up, I'm there to cheer you on. When we are both down, well, that's just when it feels real, sister.

New Year, New Stuff?

Ahhh, it's back to the daily grind....I was back at work yesterday after having 2 full weeks off. It has been over 10 years since I've had 10 consecutive working days off. There are things you forget when you don't have breaks, like, what it is like when you own your time. Every minute and every second of it. When you can get up when you like and go to bed when you want and know it will have NO reflection on how you feel tomorrow. I am still jet lagged from the return trip last week. I can't quite figure it out, but Mom is complaining of the same problem. I am dragging through the day, barely able to function, but at 9 PM I am suddenly WIRED. I am averaging 5 hrs of sleep each night and I'm not too happy about it.
I still haven't received my I-171H yet and I'm pretty bummed about it. I was SURE that it would be here already. I sent an email post out to the FTIA list-serve group and felt dismayed when I learned another family (meaning more than 1 person was fingerprinted) was fingerprinted 5 days after me and received their form within 7 days. I called and left a message with USCIS yesterday, but still haven't heard back. Initially I thought that was a good sign...perhaps it was in the mail? If I don't have it tomorrow I'm going to have serious issues and am considering calling my state reps again.
Anyway, New Year stuff...I really dislike New Year Resolutions so I don't make any. Ever. I do, however, reevaluate my life and try to refocus on those things that I feel are important for the coming year, both for me and for my place in this world. I have no idea when MayLing will arrive. If, what everyone is postulating is correct, MayLing will not arrive until June 2008. I think the new guidelines will improve the number for those of us that are just now submitting, so I do hope to have her home sooner than that. I do want to make sure that I am as healthy as possible prior to her arrival because I suspect the trip to China will be very physically and emotionally challenging. Any time I travel to a location that will require lots of walking, hiking or physical labor or any kind, I try to "train" in preparation. This will be no exception. My dossier is basically done and I have no excuses for not getting regular at the gym again. Having said that, I will hurt any of you that try to wrestle chocolate out of my hand! A couple of pieces of dark chocolate has now been proven to be healthy, so just keep for advice to yourself!
Other goals....time to get rid of clutter, clean out closets (I commandeered MayLing's closet the moment I moved into this house last year), put photo albums together, start a Life Book for MayLing and start on the nursery! I am really looking forward to working on the nursery. As soon as I have my LID, I will have a party and those that want, can help decorate.
Ahh, so much to do, I better try to get some sleep so I will have energy for all of it!

Poem by Gayle Leubecker

Dear Sweet Daughter,

As a girl I had a common dream, to be a mom someday,
My baby would have blue eyes and hair the hue of hay.
But now my dreams have been transformed, new visions fill my head.
Now the tresses that I long to stroke are raven black instead.

And in my dreams those eyes are not so big or blue or round.
Now in my dreams they're almond shaped and colored cocoa brown.
And in my dreams my arms can stretch across enormous seas.
They can reach half-way around the world and hold you close to me.

As you grow in your mother's womb, carefully knit together,
you're also growing in my heart, where you will stay forever.
And in my dreams, the moment that your mother says goodbye,
I'll be right there to comfort you and hold you as you cry.

Our features may not look alike, we're different as can be.
But still I know the Father has created you for me.
And although I've not yet seen your face, or held your tiny hands,
and though we're half a world apart in very different lands,
I'll be right there to get you just as soon as God allows.
But 'til He says the time is right, I give you this vow,
I'll pray for your protection every night on bended knee.
For God will hold you in His arms, until you're here with me.

Response to Paula Zahn's interview

I'm not the type to sit back and allow uneducated opinions to be thrown around as fact. So, after going to the gym this afternoon and still being revved up over the Paula Zahn transcript I read, I decided to re-read it and respond. I got more ticked the second and third time I read it. So, I sent an e-mail knowing that it will not likely make any difference, but it may allow me to rest easier tonight. Here it is:

"I eagerly anticipated Ms. Zahn's show about adoption, especially with the emphasis on China adoptions and the new guidelines. I was, however, appalled by the lack of knowledge by Ms. Zahn or her guests on the subject of adoption, internationally or otherwise. The interview came across as rather racist and it was unfortunate that they perpetuated those stereotypes. I was really appalled when they mentioned adopting a "Muslim child". That's like asking to adopt a Christian child. Islam is a religion, typically one that is taught at home, not a race. The only way to adopt a Muslim child is to teach that child Islamic beliefs and hope for the best. There was very little emphasis on the new China guidelines, but rather an argument against adopting Chinese children based on biases that we should have surpassed years ago. I have friends that have adopted from China, and not ONE has ever mentioned "porcelain" skin, increased mental abilities, work ethic or health as their reason for adoption. Every adoptive parent of a Chinese daughter is counseled on the fact that their child WILL be delayed developmentally or physically on their return home and suffers from any number of diseases relating to malnutrition or lice/scabies infestations. Children from other countries also run the risk of fetal alcohol syndrome or potential sexually transmitted diseased (transmitted in utero). Choosing to adopt is a deeply personal decision based on a lot of factors, none that were mentioned in your report. Prior to the recent ruling, China was one of the few countries in the world to allow singles to adopt. Even our own great nation discriminates against singles (the birth mothers choose the adoptive parent and most prefer couples). Some agencies refuse to work with singles all together. Cost is another factor. Of all the countries to adopt from, the US is the most expensive and provides no guarantee (unlike other countries). Until we fix the flaws in our own child care system, it is unwise to berate parents who choose to adopt abroad".

Ok, I've done what I can, hopefully now I can sleep.

CNN and Paula Zahn China report

Here is a link to last night's "in-depth" report from Paula Zahn about the new China restrictions and adoptions domestically and internationally. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this? If so, contact CNN at http://www.cnn.com/feedback/forms/form6a/html?2

http://adoptioninfoaccuracy.blogspot.com

Obviously all adoptive parents work hard each day to make sure that their children feel loved and accepted not only at home, but in the world at large. We go out of our way to educate people on a daily basis, but we all know that some people just can't be educated or see reason.

It's a New Day

Ahh, I just love surprises. And I love being home. As much fun as HK was, I couldn't wait to get home. I started missing my friends, my cat, my house. Surprisingly, I didn't check email or China updates online while I was gone. It really didn't even cross my mind. I think the break was good for me.
When I was in Hong Kong I was struck by how different it was 15 years ago when I was a kid and visited. Now it is far more diverse. Then, it was strictly Chinese. I saw one Caucasian the entire time I was there and she was from England. This time I saw many European tourists (winter holiday, you know....read Bridget Jones), as well as new residents from Middle Eastern countries, India, and Indonesia. Looking around I didn't feel like an outsider and I didn't, couldn't view them as any differently from myself. I couldn't help but think that one of them might be the mother, father, sister, uncle, cousin, grandma to my own daughter. I was able to appreciate the differences in our cultures much more after that realization.
Ok, back to the surprise. The bad surprise yesterday (and today) is that I still don't have my I-171H. Kristina (my adoption coordinator and guardian angel) told me to contact somebody and I probably will Monday if I don't receive anything on Saturday.
Now the good news, when I opened my door yesterday afternoon I found a big box sitting on the stoop. Now, I'm a pretty smart girl and I knew that I hadn't ordered anything and I was quite sure that most of my family and friends knew I was in HK and wouldn't likely order anything for me. Sure enough, it wasn't for me, it was for someone else with a similar sounding address. I called the number on the front of the box to report the issue and Larry (the lovely man on the other side of the phone) told me that there were 30 white tulips in the box. He said to open them and enjoy them and new ones would be sent to the correct person in the next 1-2 days. WOW, free flowers!!! I am a lucky girl.

Hong Kong Jet Lag

Times Square, Hong Kong on December 31st. Over 400,000 people crammed into a small area. Yikes!

Open Air meat market in Kowloon, Hong Kong.

Buddha on Lantau Island. Largest in the world.








Chennie and Mom at Starbuck's the first morning of our visit.

Yep, I'm freshly returned from Hong Kong. Most of you that read this blog know that the only thing I was more excited about than adopting MayLing was going to HK for Chennie's wedding. It's amazing how quickly time passes....all that waiting and it was over in a flash. It was a beautiful trip, Chennie was a beautiful bride and I was honored to share that beautiful day with her. It will go down in my memory books as one of the most special moments of my life.
The only difficult thing about the trip was the flight time. It took 16 hours to get to Hong Kong and we lost a day (as a result of the flight time and the fact that they are 13 hours ahead of us). My tailbone hurt so bad I wanted to cry. Coming home was slightly better because it was 14 hrs flight time and I commandeered Mom's pillow to take the pressure off my bottom. Whewww. I always suffer jet leg and the first 3 days in a new place and this was no exception. The problem now is that I'm home, I've been up for 32 hours and am too wound up to sleep. It's a crazy world.
No news on the I-171H from CIS....I really expected that it would be in my mailbox when I returned home today, but no such luck. Evidently with former President Ford's passing, the government took a day off to mourn and reflect and with 2 holidays in the middle it is taking a bit longer than I had hoped. Hopefully tomorrow will bring good news! As soon as I receive it, I'm heading directly to Indy for my state seals and then Sherry and I are road trippin' it to Chicago for my Chinese embassy seals. Whewww!
As soon as I've had some sleep I will post highlights of the trip along with pictures, but until then I will just leave a few photos for you to peruse.

First photo: a Monkey on Monkey Mountain...surprisingly not a tourist spot. Just something the locals are aware of. Oops, I guess not now.
2. Times Square, Hong Kong. We didn't stay for the final countdown--too many people!
3. Meat Market
4. Buddha on Lantau Island
5. The city as seen from a harbor dinner cruise. All the buildings decorate for the Holidays and many have spotlights that shine throughout the night.
6. Daddy Wang, Chennie, and Mommy Wang. All were dressed for the tea ceremony prior to the wedding.
7. The Wedding, duh.
8. Mom and Man To.
9. The whole family: Peter, Daddy Wang, Chennie, Mommy Wang, me, Mom, Dad
10. Chennie and Mom at Starbucks.