Job Interviews

I had my first job interview today. It went really well and the job sounds very interesting. It's a clinical educator position and I would be meeting one-on-one with patients educating them on their conditions and how best to care for themselves. I would also help to streamline clinic practices, develop programs, and help train volunteers and work them in areas they would be most effective. It actually sounds like something I would be good at doing so I am just waiting to see the final job description and the $$.

Meanwhile, on the Select front, I am still working! Uggghhhh, I've had enough. Yesterday I took the most recent Harry Potter and sat there reading for a few hours. I was told that my team could leave once all the medical records are boxed and filed and the storage rooms cleared out. Welllllll, that was done by 2:30 today and yet he asked for us to come back tomorrow for a "once over". God love him, I understand why he is doing it, but I am tired of this and want to start my maternity leave pronto!

I had a moment (well it was a very long moment lasting a few hours) of prolonged sadness after emptying my desk and taking things to my car. I really will be sad to leave. I will really miss everybody (with a few exceptions).

Faith

Faith. Simple word, big meaning. One of the biggest fears of my life has been unemployment, but in the seconds following the announcement on Tuesday I felt peace. Excitement. And this thought crossed my brain, "Alright, God, what else have you got? Show me what you can do." Somehow I knew it was going to be ok. Today Matt preached on Judges 6 and the general thought that I took away from the sermon was letting God lead and that it is ok to ask for a sign from God that it is truly him. I look at losing my job as a sign from God. I can trust him in certain areas, but I hold other areas so close to my heart because I don't trust him with them. These areas have been neglected for so long that I no longer trust him to provide for those things as well. If I can trust him to provide for me, why can I not let him provide for these other areas? Maybe it is time to let him.

I'm always amazed when someone tells me they have read my blog and have kept up with my news. I know that some of you have even been praying for me and I want to thank you for all your prayers and your concern.

Good Day

There is nothing like having a Saturday without an agenda....ahhhh. I slept late and even the cat didn't disrupt my slumber. It has been a long time since I have had a Saturday free. I decided to sort through the large tubs of stuff my mom sent with me a few weeks ago. I found some great treasures that I haven't seen in 15 years or so. I found the hand-made "Cabbage-Patch Doll" my mom had made. She had painted blue eyes on it to match my own and fitted it with brown hair. It even wore the same outfit that I had worn as a baby. What a great thing to find. I also found notes and cards my Grandma Henderson had sent me. She developed Alzheimer's when I was quite young and was pretty far gone by the time I was a teenager. When she died I received the Bicentennial Crazy Quilt she had started for me. It has bits of all of our clothing and each piece tells a story. I have wanted something with her writing to transfer onto the backside of the quilt and now I have those things. I think I am going to do an iron transfer of one of the cards onto a piece of fabric and put that into my daughter's 100 Good Wishes Quilt. That is one more thing I can work on while on "leave".

I also made the mistake of opening the newest Harry Potter book. After that my treasure hunt ended and I can't get my other projects started. It's such an exciting book...I'm already 100 pages into it!

Thursday night before I went to bed I noticed that the CCAA updated their website. They are finished reviewing dossiers submitted through June 2006. This is incredible! It has only been 3 weeks since they finished the month of May, 2 weeks since they finished April. It took 3 months to clear the month of March, yikes! It will take them forever to match babies and families for that month, but hopefully it won't take another 3-4 months (like October 2005). Little things like this give me hope that I won't be waiting forever.

The Beat Goes On

Nothing new on the job front. I submitted my resume for an analyst position and e-mailed the person in charge of the department. She said she can not proceed until the hospital processes my application and forwards it on to her. From past experience I can tell you it will take 3-4 months for them to hire someone, even if they are desperate. So, I may be unemployed for awhile.

I spent yesterday cleaning out my desk, my car, and all my files. Not only did I have one filing cabinet, but my predecessor also had a tall filing cabinet that I had to empty. And all the boxes and 3-ring binders....yikes! We had approximately 60 bags of trash and at last 30-40 bags had to go to the shredder because of confidential material. Initially I thought that once that was done I would be free to leave, but that is not the case. They want me to stay on and inventory, bag and tag all our equipment. The only problem?...corporate still hasn't sent us the appropriate labels (with barcodes, evidently) to complete the task. So, since I was done with my work and couldn't begin to help anywhere else I sat at my desk for 6 straight hours until being freed to go home. Tracie and I spent the afternoon yelling insults at each other and laughing like goons. We had brought food for a little private pitch-in and listened to a Ron White CD. When we were finally allowed to leave we decided to go to Target. I now have the new Harry Potter book, but I can't start it until Monday. I need to have something to do next week!

The Job Hunt Begins

Yesterday I was in shock, but today I am angry. This morning I made the comment to my CEO that since I was being robbed of my maternity leave that I was going to make up for it in the next 2 months and get a lot of baby things done. After tomorrow I can't think of anything else that I can do. I cancelled all my appointments today and called and wrote letters to all my referral sources. That was really hard. They were really upset and they were worried for all of us. It's a small town and we suddenly will have a lot of medical personnel flooding the market. Initially the CEO said I was finished with work after this week, but then made some comment about staying on and helping with the close. Considering I'm not receiving a severence package (we had been promised this numerous times in the event we ever did close) I don't feel too charitable. I'm not going to sit "on-call" for the next 2 months and help tear down the hospital that I helped put together. Terri had the best advice: if it's not in your job description, you can't be made responsible for it.

On the positive side, I've received several job leads. It was amazing how quick that happened. Mike at our Beech Grove site offered me the same job that I had there (minus all the responsibility I was carrying here). I had job offers at 3 home care companies (been there, done that, and God willing, never will again). I had 3 leads for jobs that haven't yet been posted at Bloomington Hospital and I have an interview for one next week. The one lead came from Kathy, an FCC mommy, who had read my post yesterday. I'm most excited about that one and I really hope the lady calls me back to set up an interview. Say a prayer not just for me, but for all of us affected by the closing. We had ~120 employees and about 30-50 of them were full-time.

Bad Day at the Office

First, I want to apologize to my close friends that will read this before I have the chance to tell them in person. The truth is, I just can't handle any more calls on this matter today. We had a scheduled visit from our regional director and our corporate HR person today. That is not terribly unusual as they visit annually to check in, but today we were all called in to a meeting and informed that our hospital is closing and we are all losing our jobs. Yep, I just lost my job. We will finish up the care on the patients that are currently with us, but will not evaluate (my job) or admit anyone else. Since our average patient length of stay is 25 days, I anticipate we will remain open for another 3 weeks. Fortunately we will be paid until September 24th and my medical benefits will not end until the end of September. Unfortunately, there is no severence package and all the time I have accumulated for my maternity leave is lost. I will not be able to use or be paid my sick time (aka baby time), but I will be able to cash out my vacation time which will probably only add up to 2 weeks.
I am asking for your prayers on this matter. I have never been downsized before and as the sole breadwinner I have no other paycheck to lean on. I was also still working on saving money towards my adoption.
I was surprisingly calm all day and even cracked jokes with my CEO and the corporate people who delivered the bad news. They even asked me to help notify my fellow employees by calling and sending certified letters. I think that helped separate me from what was going on, but now I am home and feeling the stress. Pray that I will have peace and not feel overwhelmingly stressed and that I am able to find a new job quickly!
I hope that I do not have to return to work after this week. Since I will not be able to enjoy a paid maternity leave when my daughter comes home, I want to do it now. All those little things that I wanted to get done and don't have the time or energy for, I want to work on now. Of course, I will also be on the job hunt full time.
If you want to call me tomorrow, that is fine, but today I just need to take a nap, a crap, and walk before I feel better.

I A-M E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D

Yep, you read it here first...I'm so tired I can't move. Yesterday I woke up bright and early (aka 5:45 AM) so that I could get to Illinois in time to help with the big garage sale and move. The garage sale was supposed to begin at 7 am, but people actually began arriving at 6:30. What is wrong with people? Why can't they sleep in on a Saturday morning? It seems like some sort of sickness...I wonder if there is a 12-step program for them? Anyway, I arrived around 7:40 central time and the big rush was already over but people stopped by all morning long. I was so exhausted after going to bed so late and getting up early that I was useless. Plus, I hadn't had any caffeine. I usually try to go caffeine free on the weekends, but this was ridiculous. I spent most of my time watching Saige and helping with the garage sale while the rest of them packed things up and loaded the U-Haul. Even watching Saige wore me out. Finally by 6:15 the worst was over and the majority of their belongings were moved to the duplex. I really wish I had pictures of the day, but my camera wasn't working and I am really hoping it is just the battery. Even though I dead-ass tired I still stayed up late last night. It seems I have reversed the good bedtime vibes I was on last week and the new overly-exhausted ones have taken over which means I am going to be tired but unable to sleep.
I decided to skip church this morning so that I could sleep in. It's the first day since July 4th that I have been able to sleep late and not wake up by the alarm. After a nice, peaceful sleep I began to tackle my front yard. I've been very frustrated with the appearance of the front of the house. I want to landscape the area closest to the front of the house, but the slope of the yard is wrong and I needed to remove dirt and sod from the front of the bed and move it to the back of the bed (against the house). Now I have a better slope so hopefully things will drain away and down the hill to the south of the house. I cleared a 10x20foot piece of land. I'm exhausted! I think tomorrow if I am able to move I will try to slope it more and remove the old wood chips that passed for mulch. Hopefully I will be able to put my flower bulbs and other flowers in this week and mulch it by the weekend! I'm so excited as crazy as that might seem, but this yard is such a mess!

Songs, Songs, Songs

While walking the other night I began thinking of all the music that makes me think of my daughter. Most of it is not child or even adoption related, but for some reason makes me think of her. Any song about home makes me think of her because a home feels so empty without a family. Feel free to e-mail me any suggestions.

• Hung Up by Madonna "time goes by so slowly for those who wait" Need I say more?
• Little Wonders by Rob Thomas "our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate. Time falls away but these small hours still remain" Yep, kind of feels like that sometimes.
• In the Sun by Michael Stipe "I picture you fast asleep, a nightmare comes, you can't keep awake. May God's Love be with you. May God's Love be with you"
• Merry Christmas by Third Day. This song is very much about adopting in China. The father sings of Christmas here while the family waits, while their little girl waits for them in China. I really can't listen to this one without dissolving into tears. It's amazing.
  

Ok, time for some dinner....I'll add more a bit later and probably put them in a box to the side of my blog.

Rumors, Truths, much more (not really)

Rumors: The Rumor Queen is already reporting that the next bunch of referrals from China should finish up the month of November (2005) and part of December. That would be an incredible feat considering they haven't cleared more than a week's worth of referrals for as long as I have been waiting (5 months). RQ is also reporting that the orphanage "donation" is increasing from $3,000 to as much as $5,000 in some areas. They haven't seen an increase since the program began 10 years ago and they are hoping the increase in funds motivates the orphanages to make more babies paper ready. If that's the case that is good news, but it also mean I need to save an additional $2,000 that I did not expect. Hopefully we will have a final ruling on that soon.

Truths: I am returning to the parental unit's home stead tomorrow for what I hope is the last time. They close on the house at the end of the month so only have this weekend and next to move into the duplex they are renting for the next two years. If we can get everything done tomorrow, I won't have to return next weekend. Wheee! It'll be nice for them to get settled in the new place. I think if it happens quickly they won't have to dwell on how big a change it is for them.

Much More (not really): Not really a whole lot to report. The weather has finally improved and the humidity broke for at least a day or two. Mom came over for a whirlwind visit on Wednesday evening and left when I left for work at 8 am. I love these little visits; they really break up the week. I now have the little table and two chairs to put in my empty dining room area. I also have a wheelbarrow....yeah! I am in the mood to begin scrapbooking for MayLing again. I realized I actually have quite a few pictures that I could include now about the wait. I'm thinking of doing a digital scrapbook and combining that with a regular paper version (they are both paper, but digital is generated on the computer so I wouldn't have to cut). I feel like I probably spend more time doing computer stuff and I wouldn't have to buy special tools for scrapbooking.

Cheers! I'm sure I'll have more stuff and more pictures to post tomorrow after my visit.

Goodbye, Old House

Last week I received a phone call from my mom telling me that they had interested parties wanting to buy their house. For those of you that need a recap, my parents live in a small town in IL. Although my sister and I are native Hoosiers, we were raised in IL but we both returned to Indiana upon graduation. Once I finally decided to make Bloomington my permanent home last year, my parents began looking for a home in between Bloomington and Indy where my sister and her family live. They bought a house last year in Martinsville and have been renting it to a family. They didn't anticipate selling their current home until Dad retires in 2009-2010. About a month ago a young man stopped by the house to tell them that he really liked their house and if they ever wanted to sell it to call him first. Well, they thought on that and thought that was a good idea. Before long they had 2 interested buyers (without ever listing the house as For Sale--how good is God's timing?). Last Wednesday they called to say the house was sold so I decided to make one last trip home. I have never lived in this house, but it is a beautiful house and in a beautiful area and I do have some very special memories of the house and of our family in the house. On Friday mom called to say she was making all (that would be Sarah and me) of our favorite foods for our last meal in the house. We really had a great time. The house looks great and we spent Friday night racing little remote controlled speed boats on the pond one last time. On Saturday they went to the bank to finalize things and the closing is set for 2 weeks! That's right, by July 31st the house will no longer be theirs. On Saturday my parents loaded my car with more stuff than imaginable: my old 10 speed bike, old books from nursing school, art, paper products (dad stockpiles TP, Kleenex, and paper towels), lawn care items, 2 trunks of my old dolls, my little rocking chair from my childhood (it needs some major rehab), my tutu and ballet shoes that I am going to have cleaned and put in my daughter's room. I know that I no longer have any reason to return to IL. In anthropology (my college major) we track populations by DNA. You can see where groups of people have lived by looking at the DNA through their descendants. Although they have lived there for 26 years there is nothing left of any of us in that town. Aside from my graduation photo hanging from the walls of the high school there is no evidence that I ever lived there. I'm not really sad though because soon my family will be together once again!














My niece, Saige. Isn't she precious?

Stuff

Someone from my agency posted a comment about Hallmark and their new ornament collection. They were ohhhing and awwwing over a little ornament with a Chinese girl holding a lantern. HOWEVER, if they had looked on the next page (Joy to the World collection in case anyone is wondering) there was another item that I liked even more! It's a Joy to the World Interactive Musical Decoration. Sheesh, how clinical does that sound? But it is so cute! It can be seen at http://hallmark.com/wcstore/HallmarkStore/images/FeatureArea/db_6465.pdf

I have turned into my neighbors. I know my neighbors watch me. Even if I didn't see them peeking out their curtains, they joke about it with me! Well, I'm starting to watch them too. Last night Joann (the 68 year-old spit fire next door) had a gentleman caller. They went out for a while and then came back and he carried things into her house. He left around 9 PM, but when I woke up at 6:30 this morning, guess who's car was parked out front? Chances are they probably went on a day trip together, but it makes me smile to think that he might have stayed over last night. Oh dear, I really hope she doesn't have a brother that's visiting.....yuck.

In the evening when I come home from work I always park my car at the end of the driveway, walk down to my mailbox (sits on the property line) and walk back. As I was walking back I noticed the gentleman from across the street was crouching behind a tree smacking his lips and saying "come here". Although it sounds slightly pervy he was actually talking to the squirrel on the backside of the tree. After chatting for a minute he told me he and Stumpy (the squirrel) were friends and he was trying to train him to eat food out of his hand. Awwww. This is also the same guy that yells out the door at his wife if she doesn't mow the grass to his specifications. It's the first time I've seen him outside. He has smoked his entire life and is now tethered to an oxygen machine. I think my world is getting smaller and smaller.

There is a man in my local FCC chapter that is adopting as a single parent. He is currently in China right now picking up his son. I just have to share a picture of this kid...he is just the cutest thing ever! Now I really really want a son.



This is Cameron. Isn't he cute!

CCAA Updates!

That's right folks, the CCAA updated their site not once, but twice last week! In less than 2 weeks they reviewed dossiers for the entire month of May 2006! Now this may not sound newsworthy to most people (unless you are a waiting parent like me), but it took them over 3 months to process all of March 2006. They just finished April 2 weeks ago and now they are done with May. Most adoptive parents don't think too much about this part of it, but this is where I am holding my breath. This is where they go over your dossier with a fine tooth comb. I am a little nervous, but with Kristina's (my adoption coordinator) attention to detail I should be ok. She was SO thorough. So, they updated the reviewed dossiers on July 5th.
On July 6th they updated again and said they had finished matching families and babies for parents with a log in date through November 14, 2005. Yep, they are still really far behind, but at least this time they processed a weeks' worth of dossiers. Last time it was only 6 days and the time before that it was only 2 or 3. My goodness the wait ticks on like an eternity when you think of time like that. My mom is still planning on traveling next summer even though all indications lead to late 2008, but it never hurts to have faith.
Not much is very newsworthy here at home. I did harvest my first batch of green beans this weekend. Yep, I cooked up a whole pot of bean and they were so good I ate it all in 2 days! I really want a bigger garden next year...one for my veggies and another for my strawberries and melons. It's a lot of work, but oh so worth it. I only garden late in the day since I really can not tolerate the humidity, but I am keeping busy making baby afghans and adult afghans for friends. If I don't get my hour of crochet a day, I feel like my day isn't complete. Sigh....I've become such a homebody over the last year, but I like it!

Baby Baby

Most women have a monthly reminder of their biological clock and even those women who are not interested in having (more) children will recognize that it does mess with the mind a little bit. We are a bit more sentimental, looking at or holding babies makes feel more warm 'n fuzzy than usual. Adopting from China, however, brings a whole other dimension to the mix. Not only do I feel all warm 'n fuzzy for a few days a month, but I begin feeling all warm 'n fuzzy for the whole week before we anticipate referrals from China. Fortunately since I've had so much baby time this week the feeling isn't nearly as bad, but I am still aware of it which is why I need your input! I have been eyeballing baby slings/carriers for the past few months. I'm open to suggest, but right now my favorites are these:
The first photo is from www.wrapnwear.com and the second is from www.babyhawk.com

Please e-mail me and let me know what you think (this is for all you lurkers that don't normally post too!)

Baby Training...in progress

I received a phone call late Thursday night from Sherry. They had had a death in the family and needed to drive to Kentucky first thing in the morning. She asked if I would pick up Rosa (sorry I don't have any recent photos of the sweetie...or as I call her, The Rosa). All I had to do was go to the day care after work on Friday, but I knew Sherry meant business when she met me at work early the next morning to have the car seat fitted into my own car. She also handed me a detailed list on her care and baby do's and don'ts. And an insurance card. Yeah, that freaked me out a little bit. All I could think was that I would really suck as a babysitter if I had to take their daughter to the ER.
I got off early Friday afternoon and snuck over to the daycare before 5 pm. The caretakers said they knew I was there to pick up Rosa because as I pulled up Rosa was pointing to me from her seat on the swingset. She hugged me as I picked her up. We had dinner together, took a stroller ride/walk, played a bit and watched our first episode of The Simpsons together. By then it was 7:30 and although I didn't want to put her to bed (she was so content sitting on my lap!) I knew it was time. She was tired. I rocked her, sang to her, laid her down. She began screaming the second her butt hit the bed, but I followed Sherry's advice "back out quickly and don't look back!". By the time I reached the kitchen table to pick up the baby monitor, she was asleep.
Tonight was had a church picnic and I met Brandy and Steve and their 3 boys. The youngest is almost 9 months and I had the opportunity to hold him and feed him his dinner. It made me want to have a son so bad! It's so strange...when I started down the adoption road I had my heart set on having a girl. Now that I know I am having a girl, I also want a little boy!! I really do have my heart set on adopting from Vietnam next. I am guaranteed a son since so many parents want little girls and they have so many boys that need families. Anyway, I may be babysitting for Brandy and Steve's older boys on Friday. They have to go out of town and the big kids get to stay behind. I'm not sure it will work out, but if it does, maybe it will cure me of my baby boy blues.
Terri requested a garden update so here goes...we had a bit of a drought over the last 4-6 weeks. It finally started raining regularly about 10 days ago. As a result, when I was in WI some of my plants got cooked. I lost some beans and rhubarb, but I think the rest will survive. The corn is getting quite tall. My biggest problem right now is weeds. I've got some sort of wild violet growing crazy all over the yard, but especially in the garden. If I attempt to pull it up when it is young, it just breaks. I have to wait until it's a bit taller and I can grab the roots as well.
Evidently today is "Everybody ask Erica about her adoption Day". I had a woman at church asking me about it this morning and she asked if I would be receiving a boy or a girl. I told her that China will only allow single parents to adopt children of the same sex so I will have a daughter. She then proceeds to open her mouth and insert her foot, "Well, that's good. Since you aren't married it would be hard for a boy to not have a daddy." It must be easier for girls not to have daddy's? I was nice and told her that my children will have plenty of positive male in their life. Does she think I'm taking a stand by being single? I would love for my children to have a father, but I really don't have any control over that. She kept digging herself in further, but I'm not even sure she realized what a jerk she was being. I guess adoption seems pretty weird for the average person, so single-parent adoption must be unfathomable.
I received an e-mail from my agency saying that the CCAA was requesting information from parents with dossiers logged in June 2006. That's progress! Everything I've read indicates that October/November 2005 and March/April 2006 were the biggest months for dossiers. Once they finally finish matching parents to babies in these months things should pick up, although we are still looking at an 18-24 months wait.

For those wondering why I have a photo of a car seat and no photos of Rosa, I can explain. Rosa stayed so close while I was babysitting that the best photo I could have taken would have been of the top of Rosa's head as she had her arms wrapped around my thigh, or worse, my butt.