Humbled

Chinese Double Happiness Sign
Since God has lead/forced/encouraged me down the adoption path, I've had two primary concerns as a single parent:

1. Can I really do this on my own?
2. How am I going to find the money?

The answer to question number 1, is no, I can't do this on my own. But fortunately I have some really incredible friends in my life. I am fortunate that they have embraced this journey with me. In addition, I have developed an incredible group of friends both inside and outside the adoption circle that are happy to travel the road with me. Not only that, but many of them want to be involved after MayLing is home! How great is that?

The answer to the second question was much harder for me to figure out. Today I had my "ah ha moment" when I was speaking to my mom. When I started the adoption process I knew it was a God thing because it was absolutely the wrong time for me to be spending money. I had just bought the house and in addition to a mortgage I had a home improvement loan and a loan for the new heating/AC I was forced to purchase. Even before I began the process, I had no extra money. This has been the biggest stress of the process. Today I came home and found a letter from an organization I had requested an adoption grant through 6 months ago. I really didn't expect to receive one since I am single and this appeared to be a rather conservative organization. In addition, they required a letter from my pastor and he refused to write one. In the end, a couple friends of mine from church wrote it and he vouched that he knew them (that situation still boggles my mind--all they wanted to know was that I regularly attended church, not my favorite color or shoe size). However, here it is and they have already forwarded money to FTIA to credit towards my account! I've been praying so hard about something else thinking it would ultimately help with my adoption, only to have God hand me the money! Mom said, "Maybe this is your sign that He does hear your prayers. Maybe this is His way of getting you to let go and trust him for your needs instead of thinking other people would come through." Maybe Mom is right. This process has been so humbling...being forced to trust God, being forced to allow others to help me. It truly has been a humbling, growing experience.

Just another little blessing to report...on Saturday we had some nasty storms that knocked out power and trees in my neighborhood. The only thing broke around here was my new phone/answering machine. It just refused to ring. Tonight we had another nasty storm and the power was knocked out again. This time my ringer is working! How weird is that?