Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Going out of business...

going out of business

On Friday my dad called me the news after speaking to my mom's specialist/surgeon.  In his own words "they are going to gut her like a Christmas Turkey!"

I actually prefer to think of it like the sign above:  her uterus is going out of business and everything else must go!

We are still waiting to hear from the surgery scheduler which is why I haven't updated the blog.  I really wanted to have something more permanent to share--a date that everyone can focus all their prayers on (not that it matters, but there is nothing like strength in numbers...).

I want to apologize to a distant family member that learned the news from reading my blog.  I'm so sorry you found out that way--I know Mom was waiting before she knew something more before she told people.  Actually, I don't think she's told anyone outside of the immediately family.   I'm the one blabbing it to the world wide web and soliciting prayers everywhere I go.  My poor mom...if she ever meets any of my co-workers I'm sure she will get "the look".  I think people give a look any time they know something bad is going on.  They don't know how else to respond to you, but they give a look half way between pity and deer-in-the-headlights-please-don't-cry-in-front-of-me look.  Yeah, I'm already getting that look and I'm not even the one with cancer! 

The amount of support I have gotten from people is amazing.  I'm amazed at how quickly I am learning about the diagnosis, but also what it does to those in the rest of the family.  It really does affect the entire family and ripples out from there.  I'm also learning there are things you just don't say.  For example:

  • She'll be fine.  You'll see!  How the **** do you know?
  • It's not a death sentence anymore.  They have really made great advances in cancer care.  Oh yeah, well then why do so many people still die from it?  I'm not an idiot, I'm a nurse.  This isn't the first time I've seen cancer.
  • This will really be a good time for your family to bond together and fight this.  This isn't war, people.  Besides, we were already an incredibly tight family.  I don't think cancer is going to affect that much at all.  Maybe in your family, but not mine.

From actually works:

  • I'm so sorry.  I will keep your mother and your family in my prayers.   
  • What can I do to help?
  • The same thing happened with my [mother, father, brother, sister...fill in the blank].  If you need someone to talk to please let me know. 
  • If you know support services that might be of benefit please share that information, but keep the crazy ass diet suggestions to yourself.  There will be no shark fin caplets or meeting with a Sioux shaman. 

And now a word from my mother:

You can let the people know on your blog that I appreciate all the concern and prayers for our family. I read the comments and the people were so caring. My life feels much more normal so I think I have adjusted to the cancer news or it could be the peace of God that I'm getting from all the prayers. I believe it is God answering prayer.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the prayers that you have sent on my mother's behalf. 

2 comments:

kitchu said...

Some people just don't know how to cope and so the "bad" comments come out. It can be frustrating. I wish we all had that innate capacity to just meet each other RIGHT where we are, without judgments or pretense.

I am continuing to pray for your mom and please let us know details as you get them. Praying specifically that her surgery goes well.

Oh, and you know, don't worry she'll be fine it's gonna all work out you'll see don't you worry your pretty little head cancer isn't THAT bad.... and all that jazz (sorry, couldn't help it... laughter IS the best medicine, I'm convinced).

Was that so wrong?! Hope it made you laugh, regardless!

Anonymous said...

em, I get so much laughter from your blogs. I'm still chuckling. I hope the hospital room has a computer b/c I will need your blog to keep me laughing and ripping staples.
mom