...you take your uterus out and you shake it all about

Well, we finally have a date.  As much as I wish that sounded like something good, it's the date of my mom's surgery.  And as scary as it is to have major surgery I am looking forward to one thing:  seeing my mom drunk off her a** from a narcotic pain pump.  She's isn't going to know what hit her!  Whenever we are all together she always keeps her eyes open to any shenanigans that Dad, Sarah and I might get into.  She's afraid (rightfully so) that we are teaming up on her.  Well, I dare her to try to keep even one lid open for us while on the goofy juice. 

I always thought it was fun trying to get g'ma drunk on the holidays, but this is going to be so much better.  So, on June 24th I hope you will join with me and raise your glass (or whatever your chemical agent of choice) and toast my mom as her uterus takes one for the team.  Thanks, Uterus, we had some good times and I'll never forget your contribution to my own life.  Why, without you, I wouldn't be here! 

Cheers!

Going out of business...

On Friday my dad called me the news after speaking to my mom's specialist/surgeon.  In his own words "they are going to gut her like a Christmas Turkey!"

I actually prefer to think of it like the sign above:  her uterus is going out of business and everything else must go!

We are still waiting to hear from the surgery scheduler which is why I haven't updated the blog.  I really wanted to have something more permanent to share--a date that everyone can focus all their prayers on (not that it matters, but there is nothing like strength in numbers...).

I want to apologize to a distant family member that learned the news from reading my blog.  I'm so sorry you found out that way--I know Mom was waiting before she knew something more before she told people.  Actually, I don't think she's told anyone outside of the immediately family.   I'm the one blabbing it to the world wide web and soliciting prayers everywhere I go.  My poor mom...if she ever meets any of my co-workers I'm sure she will get "the look".  I think people give a look any time they know something bad is going on.  They don't know how else to respond to you, but they give a look half way between pity and deer-in-the-headlights-please-don't-cry-in-front-of-me look.  Yeah, I'm already getting that look and I'm not even the one with cancer! 

The amount of support I have gotten from people is amazing.  I'm amazed at how quickly I am learning about the diagnosis, but also what it does to those in the rest of the family.  It really does affect the entire family and ripples out from there.  I'm also learning there are things you just don't say.  For example:

• She'll be fine.  You'll see!  How the **** do you know?
• It's not a death sentence anymore.  They have really made great advances in cancer care.  Oh yeah, well then why do so many people still die from it?  I'm not an idiot, I'm a nurse.  This isn't the first time I've seen cancer.
• This will really be a good time for your family to bond together and fight this.  This isn't war, people.  Besides, we were already an incredibly tight family.  I don't think cancer is going to affect that much at all.  Maybe in your family, but not mine.

From actually works:

• I'm so sorry.  I will keep your mother and your family in my prayers.   
• What can I do to help?
• The same thing happened with my [mother, father, brother, sister...fill in the blank].  If you need someone to talk to please let me know. 
• If you know support services that might be of benefit please share that information, but keep the crazy ass diet suggestions to yourself.  There will be no shark fin caplets or meeting with a Sioux shaman. 

And now a word from my mother:

You can let the people know on your blog that I appreciate all the concern and prayers for our family. I read the comments and the people were so caring. My life feels much more normal so I think I have adjusted to the cancer news or it could be the peace of God that I'm getting from all the prayers. I believe it is God answering prayer.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the prayers that you have sent on my mother's behalf. 

Survivor

Some of you know this woman.  She has an unintentional sense of humor, a highly analytical mind, is very wise, never admits when she is wrong, will give you an answer even if it is not the correct answer to the question.  She is incredibly strong of body and mind (do not arm wrestle this woman!). 

Her resume includes wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, daughter, friend, teacher, counselor and now, cancer survivor. 

Today my mother was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. 

Please keep her and the the rest of our little family in your prayers.  

Honest to goodness snail chain mail

Wow, it has been years since I have even heard the phrase "chain mail".  Now we have the digital version with crazy emails going around promising that if you make a wish and send it to your twenty closest friends that your wish will come true!  I'm guessing most people in adoption land scoff (especially in the China program) because we have wished, prayed and promised our days away waiting for our kids. 

Anyway, I received my first snail chain mail since I was probably 12.  Evidently you spread the paper prayer rug under your bed, say a prayer, send some money (along with prayers for whatever dollar amount you need) and viola, you receive money!  Evidently if you look into Jesus's eyes (on the paper prayer rug) they will initially appear closed, but you will then see them open the longer you focus on it.  I have to be honest...the whole thing kind of creeps me out. 

You are supposed to return the paper prayer rug before the next sunset or else you will not receive any money.  I don't think my PPR has been used, but if it has, ewww.  I don't like the thought of how many grubby fingers may have handled it before it arrived on my doorstep. 

I'm not bitter and I'm not anti-Christian (far from it if you know me), but the whole premise of God working in such a narrow window (twenty-four hours from letter arrival) seems rather mind boggling when you consider this verse:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:5-7 NAS

Hmmm...so you mean God will continue to mold me and break me and stretch me into the person I'm meant to be regardless of this piece of crap mailing? 

Yep, and for further affirmation:

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

For more information on the man spreading the "good news" check this website: http://george.loper.org/trends/2003/Apr/815.html

And to totally change the subject, I was flipping through the channels and came across the show "One Tree Hill".  Is it just music?  I think Rambo movies have more dialogue.  Am I missing something?

Ahhh, a wonderful weekend

The last time Kristen came down for a weekend, we celebrated our 12 month LID and the fact that the CCAA had finally cleared the last of 2005.  This time I think our theme should be "eating our way through Indiana". 

On Friday we went to Nashville, a wonderful little town that I never remember we have until she visits.  Really, how cute is this store?!?  We both bought little mom and babe socks at one of the local stores that produces original socks.  They also produce the sock-wear for several NBA teams and others that I now have forgotten. 

One of the first stops we made was at a candy store...we were literally like two kids in a candy store.  I want some of that, and some of that, oh, and some of that!  What kind of moms are we going to be?  Well, probably moms with hidden sugar issues.  We had an awesome day there and the weather cooperated beautifully!  I think rain was forecast all weekend, but it magically ended when she arrived on Thursday. 

On Saturday, we did some last minute shopping at Lowe's and I found the perfect curtains for MayLing's room!  I'm not kidding...absolutely perfect.  They were exactly what I had been imagining, but hadn't been able to find and they were cheap!  Plus, because they are so long, I should be able to cut off the bottom of the curtain and use that material to re-finish my rocking chair.  My mom saved my very first little rocker and now my niece loves to rock in it.  The only problem is that it was in my parents garage for many years and needs some TLC before it will be good for the next generation.  My poor niece is stuck with a wobbly chair until I get it all figured out. 

On Saturday afternoon we painted the final room in my house that needed painted.  When I bought the house 2 years ago, every room was painted the same awful beige color.  I got most of it painted the first few months I lived here (thanks Mom and Dad!), Dad painted MayLing's room last year, but because this room has some seriously heavy furniture that I couldn't move by myself, I didn't paint it when I was laid off.  Many, many thanks to Kristen for volunteering to help when we could have been shopping or doing something far more interesting.   Fortunately for her, she knows I don't have anything left to paint!

Last night, though exhausted, we decided to make a run to Wal-Mart for a couple of items.  Who knew it would take the Wal-Mart staffers nearly an hour to figure out where the key was to the propane tank cage, find the correct key, and then find a full tank?  Well, not me.  The good news is that I finally have my grill and my tank so I am ready to start grilling!  I'm kind of pooped today, but I think I will attempt something tomorrow or Tuesday. 

• Favorite comment from this weekend spoken by a very young salesperson in Nashville: "But he's black" when she learned that Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon who is AA and 11 years her junior.  Wow, I really can't believe you said that.
• Favorite photo: Done!  Actually, my favorite photo was of getting tripped up in my futon mattress and being so tired and contorted that I rolled around like a beached whale.  Unfortunately, also not a flattering photo. 
• Favorite meal/food item:  definitely the peanut coconut thingys we had in Nashville.  Or the wonton soup from yesterday.  We had a lot of good options. 
• Favorite moment: wow, tough pick.  I think some of the unspoken ones were my favorite...like Plumber's Crack guy.  Thanks for taking one for the team.  Or the moment I realized that I really liked the colors that I picked out for the spare bedroom.  Or finding the perfect curtains for my daughter's room.  How did you know that was exactly what I was wanting?!? 

Maternity Leave planned

As you may remember, I lost my maternity leave last year when I lost my job. I had about six weeks saved up in "sick" time and another month in PTO--I was sitting pretty for having only saved for about a year. I'm still a bit miffed about losing it and while I realize that I will likely save up the required time while I continue with my 4-5 year sentence wait for MayLing.

I did learn, however, that the great state of Indiana is finally adopting a practice that is in place in many other states: incarcerated mothers get to keep their kids with them in special prison units until the child is 18 months. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? If I plan things just right...after my final I-600A application and fingerprinting...I could get 18 whole months with babygirl! Of course, MayLing would be an only child since I would be disqualified from ever adopting again, but just think of the bonding time we would have together!

ggrrhhh. Terri just informed me that my blog ALSO has those horrible squiggly word verifications. Sorry, it didn't show up on the web browser I normally use, but when I switched to Mozilla Firefox I saw it. No worries--I removed it! Happy commenting!

Happy 15 Month LIDversery to me!

Wow, this is becoming a habit.  It's been over a week since I last blogged--I'm sorry.  I promise to work on that this week.  The truth is I have a lot to say, but by the time I get to the keyboard I am too overwhelmed that my left brain doesn't recall any of the witty banter it was exchanging with the right brain.  So, here I sit with nothing to say.

Here is one random thought I've been meaning to mention--I think I have a teensy weensy bit of dyslexia.  I check your blogs every day, I truly do, but if your blog requires a "word verification" code in order to leave a comment and the comment is longer than 4 letters and squiggly as hell--well, I can't handle it.  You ought to see the number of times I type it out in frustration, submit it and watch it spit out a new code.  So, if you haven't heard anything from me, it's nothing personal, I am just incapable to leaving comments right now.  For some reason they've started adding more letters and the script is very distorted and no, I'm not a whiny old hag. 

Have you ever clicked on the wheelchair sign next to the "word verification" spot?  No?  Well, I dare you!  Don't type anything in, just click on the wheelchair.  It's kind of creepy, but I don't want to give it away...you'll just have to check for yourself. 

I got some new deodorant yesterday, which really isn't a big deal except that the deodorant I got a few weeks ago has really wrecked my pits.  They changed the formula for my usual deodorant and now it is wet and sticky for the first 8 hours of the day.  After that it sets in like craft glue and when I attempted to shave my pits the day after wearing the new deodorant I took off a couple of layers of skin.  No joke--my sister is my witness and saw the chunks of missing underarm.  So I picked up a new one yesterday--different brand and everything.  Well, I think I got a men's deodorant because I realize now that the reason I chose it is because it smells like my favorite cologne--on a man.  Between the men's deodorant, the sink repair that I completed on Mother's Day AND purchasing my first gas grill yesterday, well, I'm feeling very dudesque. 

The grill has given me a hyper-inflated sense of self confidence when it comes to cooking.   Truth is, I sweat it everytime I have someone over for dinner.  I want it to be perfect, but now that I have the grill I feel invincible.  At the very least, I can blame the bad food on the grill. 

My next plan: patio furniture! 

A week? Really?

Wow, it certainly didn't seem like a week, but I guess it has been.  It has been an exceptionally busy week and thankfully the bronchitis is finally clearing up.  I guess it's time for some bullet points.

• Monday--I don't remember.  Let's move on.
• Tuesday--very busy at work.  Major application error that left me at work until after 6 PM.  That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't clock in at 7 AM.
• Wednesday--more of the same crap.  Or, as my dad and Stephen King are quick to say "SSDD".  Obama was once again in town and this time he stayed to give a speech.  I would have LOVED to have heard it (since I'm still deciding), but my weeds were over a foot tall in places in my yard.  Well, that might be an exaggeration, but they were 8-10 inches in some places.  Halfway through the yard the self-propel function, the only redeeming thing about a push mower, crapped out.  It was actually easier to push it when it wasn't on than when it was on.  Then, halfway through finishing the remainder of the yard, I couldn't get the yank cord to work.  I was so tired and wheezy by then that I didn't really care.
• Thursday--worsening application errors and we finally decided to yank the patch that had been put in place for a different application error despite the vendors assertion that the two problems could NOT be related.  Yeah, whatever.  Problem fixed.  I had a bridal shower party to attend after work and here is my contribution:   If you can't figure that one out I really can't help you. 
• Friday--I was invited to the IS retreat at work, and it was really a lot of fun.  I got to spend time with people outside my department and interacted with the help desk staff, networking, and a lot of others in IS department that I don't normally meet with.  It was really a lot of fun and it was interesting to think through some problems that could potentially affect us.  I did not realize that terrorists (here and abroad) have been hacking or attempting to hack into our utility companies to bring down our infrastructure.  Wow.  So we discussed what we would do in those situations and how long we could survive as an institution without outside help.  We also discussed the earthquakes that hit a couple of weeks ago (and we are still having aftershocks) and how that affected our data centers.  Very interesting stuff...probably not for you as you read about it second-hand, but first-hand rocked. 
• Saturday--I celebrated my dad's birthday with my family and we also used it as a time to clean up my yard.  You may remember this post about the tree that came down in my yard.  Well, we spent the day cleaning up that mess--which was harder that it looks.  The tree is a cedar tree (which I didn't realize until we started burning it and I smelled the wonderful scent of...cedar) and it was likely killed by the overgrowth of vines back there.  Unfortunately, many years ago when this neighborhood was beginning to grow, somebody that didn't know better planted English Ivy.  This nasty vine will crawl and choke every tree that it can.  It can also climb brick houses which then creates problems for the brick.  I'm always pulling it off my house, my trees...when the neighbor had his broke-down junker truck parked behind my tree in the backyard I couldn't effectively clear it off my tree because he was parked so close.  Within a few months the ivy overtook his truck.  Anyway, we got part of the mess cleared out and now I am just waiting for my neighbor to work on her part.  Unfortunately there is no point in planting new trees until her messy ivy is cleaned up or it is just going to kill another tree.  My mom mowed my grass even though the self-propel is NOT working--thanks Mom!  The yard looks immensely better and I hope we will tackle the nasty bush in the front of my house next year. 
• Sunday--woke up with a very achy body.  My forearms and the backs of my legs feel the worst.  After church I settled on the couch with the kitty and slept.  I woke up to the sounds of "Aliens vs. Predators".  For whatever reason, the fastest way to get me to nap is the sound of a TV playing at low volume.  Actually, I take that back.  Yesterday afternoon my mom was reading my nearly 3 year-old niece a story and it put ME to sleep.  Poor MayLing...I may not be able to read her stories for fear of putting her to sleep!  When my niece was still a baby, I would rock her to sleep before her nap.  Sometimes she wouldn't go out very fast and I'd rock me to sleep before she went out.  I woke up one time with her looking up at me and wondering why the rocking had stopped. 
• Anyway, I think it's probably a bad sign with the most moving thing I have seen all day is the closing scene of Aliens vs. Predators when the Predator tattoos the girl's cheek and gives her a weapon.  Yeah, I admit I finished watching the rest of the movie.  I'm not proud. 

                          Have a good week!