Ringing in the New Year with my new man

I told you there was a reason you hadn't heard much from me over the last few months and here is the reason:

I have kept a lot of things quiet because even I didn't completely understand things.  When I started the process for MayLing over two years ago, I knew at that time that a son from Vietnam would be part of the package.  I just didn't know when or how.  My reasoning brain just assumed that it would several years after I got my daughter home.  But my heart couldn't let it go and the image of this baby boy that God had placed in my heart grew with each passing day.  With the exception of Kristen--no one knew.  When I chose my daughter's name, I also chose my son's.  When I picked and bought the paint for MayLing's room, I did the same for his.  When Kristen and I went shopping for our future daughters, I wandered across the aisle and bought from the boy's side as well. 

It was a tough year as I waited and wondered what to do.  On November 4, 2007 Kristen called to tell me that the CCAA had just released some changes to their policies--concurrent adoptions and pregnancies were now allowed.  It was the sign I needed.  Many months before I had picked the agency I wanted to work with so that very same night I emailed the coordinator from that agency and told him I was ready to begin.  And begin we did.

I could never have imagined the horrific emotional highs and lows that would follow--something that I had never experienced during the process with my daughter.  After months of CIS losing my paperwork and other government screw-ups along the way, I finally had a completed dossier to submit.  The day before I was to submit it and pay a substantial portion of my adoption fees a news release was printed that the US and VN were not renegotiating the MOU they had operated under for the previous two years.  There would be no more referrals after September 1st.

For the next 4 months I sat and wondered, prayed, and tried to find peace in what seemed like impossible odds.  So many families were waiting--some for several years--how could I possible receive a referral?

But in my bones I knew he lived and breathed and even from the other side of world I could feel the weight of him against my chest.  I knew the date of his birth and location of birth long before I ever heard of a referral.  All along the way I could feel these momentous things occurring somewhere beyond our grasp.  It was interesting to receive all his info last week and be able to confirm all these thoughts and feelings along the way.  I knew the date of our match long before I was ever told--his paperwork confirms it.  So many other things that before I could only feel and assume were important--well, they were.  

On September 1st I received an email with this simple message:

You're in.

Your boy is permanently matched to you.

No kidding.

Have a great holiday.

We'll talk during the week, I don't have a clue yet when we'll get the photos, etc.

I waited another two days before I saw his face and then waited nearly four more months before I finally had the chance to hold him.

He is mine and I am his.  Together we rang in the New Year just hours after stepping off an airplane together.