Happy Father's Day

...from my grill to your's. 

  I know there are a lot of single ladies out there being both mom and dad to their kids.  I celebrate you along with all the dads today.  Happy Father's Day!

Thoughts of my daughter...

Yesterday I celebrated (?)/remembered/pondered/marked the day I logged my dossier into the CCAA.  Yes, it has been 16 months.  I assume that people think I have just moved on, but I haven't.  I think of my daughter every day.  I miss the nights where I dreamed of her.  When I saw her face and smelled her skin and watched her grow.  My sweet, sweet child.  I feel I have known you for so long now.  Your name is always on my lips and it is all I can do to hold it back.  My co-workers don't know of you, but I find myself catching myself before blurting "MayLing" or "My daughter...." You are my little miracle.  My gift from God.  The child that opened up my life and rocked my world.  Without even seeing you, you somehow turned my heart from stone to the softest suede.  How did you do that?   I imagine your personality and every time I think you are going to be my wild child--a child of all heart and soul that challenges me and my notions of right and wrong.  I can't wait to learn what you are going to teach me.  Until then, I pray every night that God give me just a little more time with you.  Those moments when my dreams seep into my reality sustain me in ways I can not express.  I remember the feeling of your skin against mine--oh, how it felt so real!  I could still feel you when I awoke and the emptiness in my arms felt strangely awkward.  Sweet dreams, baby girl, until we meet again in twilight. 

PSA

While there are a lot of male bloggers out there, adoption blogging still remains a woman's domain for the most part.  I have learned that I have a couple of men that follow my blog and as one woman told me why her husband reads "he thinks you're funny".  Michael reminded me this weekend that it has been a while I have had a poop story and while I probably have some butt-ammo on that one (especially since Michael introduced me to Kashi high fiber cereal.  Really?  Do we need more than 1/3 of our daily requirement in the first hour that we are awake?  I don't think so) because I had about 16-18 grams of fiber before 10 am yesterday.  Yikes. 

Anywho, I wanted to give the men the opportunity to "check out" before I go on.  The blogs during the month of June will primarily focus on women's health--or lack thereof.  There will be some information that men may not really want to know about women.  I've heard some men profess surprise to learn that women fart.  Are you kidding me?  I can out-fart about any man I know--and usually I'm holding back the big ones (I don't want to embarrass them).

So, today's PSA (public service announcement) is very specific to the female "parts" and may be a bit graphic for some.  I did get the affected party's expressed permission before retelling her harrowing account.  Her name or location will not be revealed.

If you are a girl, you know what this is:All of us have at least one because we often get them for free when we buy soap or "specialty" bath products.  I think that is code for overpriced, smelly stuff that we slather on our skin.  This woman relayed this story to me:

I was washing up this morning and I had one of those scrunchy wash thingys.  I usually have the rope around my wrist so I don't drop my scrunchy.  Well, after I finished washing south of the border I couldn't find the string.  I looked all over the shower floor and couldn't find it.  As I stood up I felt a pinch in my you know and spread my legs to check.  Sure enough, that little bastard was up there.  The rough end of it had gotten stuck up there and when I yanked on it (insert laughter on my part because I was picturing the worst tampon string ever), well, that scrunchy molested me.  It actually tore a piece of my skin out!  But that wasn't the worst part.  The worst part was as I was getting ready to leave for work--I used the bathroom and my pee burned so bad I was almost sick!  There should be a warning label on those things.    

So there you have it ladies--it's not the Salmonella on your cutting board or the floating poop particles on your toothbrush you need to worry about.  You really need to look at your more intimate products and make sure they can't hurt you!

Pace yourself

I'm one of those all or none kind of people.  I either want to mow the entire yard at one time or not at all.  Once I start on something I want to complete it.  I've been known to sit through really horrible movies and read through really horrible books just so I could finish them.  There isn't much that I start that I don't finish. 

In the spring (uh, two weeks ago) when the weather was nice I just didn't have the physical or emotional energy to work on my yard.  I was exhausted for a number of reasons, some that I have shared on here, many that I have not.  Because of that, I missed the planting and yard prep season.  So what did I decide to do?  I decided to wait until it is in the 90s to suddenly attack my overgrown weed plot that used to be a garden.  In stead of pacing myself over a couple of days, I decided to do it all today.  In the 90s.  I didn't feel anything but the sweat on my brow and the sun on my neck until I finished.  Then I pulled my work gloves off and noticed that I went beyond blistering my skin (I probably blistered two hours ago), I tore the flesh deep into my hand.  On both hands where the fingers and palm meet, I am raw.  I guess I won't be mowing the grass today...or tomorrow. 

Here we go again

Looks like it's time to grab the cat and hide in the bath tub again. I just had my cable and internet restored and here we go again...

Hellacious weather continues

Wow, I thought Friday night was bad (the tornados), but I think the past 24 hrs have been worse!  Last night we had some nasty storms roll through, but they didn't affect us too much here--mostly rain and lots of thunder and lightening.  During the night (3?  4?  I have no idea) we had another round go through that shook the house and and as I slipped into work around the butt-crack-of-dawn this morning I managed to get in minutes before another round hit us.  Honestly, it was like a monsoon out there.  I normally LOVE thunderstorms--to this day I still like to stand out on the patio and get soaked with rain, but today was another story.  Today just sitting next to the window at work made me nervous.  The street lights came on yesterday afternoon and didn't turn off until late morning today.  It got sunny and hot (HOT & HUMID--I hate this stuff already) this afternoon and we were all deluded into thinking it was over.  WRONG.  I happened to look at the weather screen at work and noticed that there was a big pile of red over the town my parents live in the next state over that would be heading towards us.  I was smart and decided to call it a day.  I barely got home and it hit again.  I had no power for a couple of hours and because it was storming so hard (at 4 in the afternoon) it was pitch black in my house.  I admit, I was a little bit nervous.  Lightening lit up the house and thunder shook my foundations for over two hours!  When it finally cleared I surveyed the damage.  This is my neighbor's yard next door: This is my back yard:

  This is more of her yard.

Should I also mention that we are all on septic tanks back here?  Ick. In addition, I now have new mulch in my yard!  The guy living in the house behind me just mulched ALL his trees this weekend.  It's now mine. All mine (insert evil laugh here). 

While this may look minor, it actually got worse as I ventured onto the road.  Of course trees and branches were down, but the hard rain and fast current actually washed the gravel driveways down to the road.  There were piles of stone everywhere across the roadway making it treacherous.  As I ventured further I saw where the storm or rain had actually pulled up the asphalt and tossed it into neighboring yards.   At a friend's house her road was essentially gone and they had something else that was kind of funky--it looked as if someone had grabbed the edge of the grass and just pulled it up and off the lawn.  The sod was rolled up over itself.  I have never seen that before during any storms here and I have lived here nearly a decade. 

Downtime the streets and businesses were flooded and some reported the water was waist high in areas.  You could actually see cars bobbing around as they sat parked in lots.  Every time the bus would force itself through the water it would create ripples that caused the cars to float and bump into each other.  Please pray for those affected by the storms because I don't think flood damage is covered on most insurance plans whether it is for home, business or car. 

Because I just can't stop myself

well girl, goodbye,
after thirty-eight years.
thirty-eight years and you
never arrived
splendid in your red dress
without trouble for me
somewhere, somehow.

now it is done,
and i feel just like
the grandmothers who,
after the hussy has gone,
sit holding her photograph
and sighing, wasn't she
beautiful? wasn't she beautiful?

    ~Poem to My Uterus

         by Lucille Clifton

That's right, Mom, the count down to U-day has officially begun!