Kroger at 9:30 pm

So, I was just at the grocery store a few minutes ago and I hear a young man say "Dan" or "ma'am" it was hard to tell between the allergy pressure in my ears and his redneck accent.  He approached me and we had the following exchange:

Him: My sister-in-law is pregnant and needs milk.  What kind do I get?

Me: (Blank look)

Him: Is it 1% or skim?

Me: Uh, probably not skim.  She needs vitamin D (totally pulling this out of my butt--OB was my least favorite part of school).

Him:  So that's 1%, right? 

Me: Yeah.

I had two problems with this exchange:

1. I can't drink milk so it has been years since I have bought any.  I haven't a clue about milk anymore. 
2. He could have taken one look at the contents of my cart and realized that a woman that has a large box of cat litter and 1-serving boxes of Lean Cuisine and little yogurt cups does NOT have kids or likely been pregnant.  Look at my cart, not the size of my faux child-bearing hips. 

14 months....wow

I am just in awe that I have been waiting 14 months now for my daughter.  Wow.  I will wait as long as I have to wait until she is home--as I remarked to a friend who asked if I had thought of giving up, "how can I?  Her name is inked into my skin!"  Tattooing her Chinese name into my skin was to be a daily reminder of God's promise.  When I feel that I can't go on any longer, I am forced to see, to really see, that I must continue.  There are difficult days, but every LIDversery I am reminded once again of the miracle that is my daughter.  The miracle that God turned my heart at the exact moment he did, that he persisted in pushing me to keep going even when I fought him and argued that I couldn't be a single parent.  And I am reminded that even though she isn't yet here, my life has become richer because of her.  How can I possibly give up?  I can't and I won't.  And while I know she isn't yet here, I want to give a shout out to the heavens on her behalf--happy day, baby girl!  Mama loves you!

Silver Linings

Most of you know I have a twisted sense of humor--it's not meant to be mean-spirited, but I think people that don't know me don't know this. 

Most of you remember being a kid and being made fun of for a variety of reasons--your front teeth fell out too soon or too late, you were too tall or too short...anything kids found to make fun of you they used.  Unfortunately, that mentality still thrives in many American adults and it is really disturbing.  Many times at work I turn to a co-worker and say "what grade are you in?" or "what grade is she in?"  Their behavior is just that juvenile. 

I found this story in the paper, and it caught my eye so I thought I would attach the on-line version:

Gurinder Osan of the Associated Press took these photographs of an Indian baby today at her family's home in Saini Sunpura, India.

No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. This infant, a girl named Lali, has four eyes, two noses and two mouths.

"When I saw my daughter for the first time I was afraid of her but when the doctor said that aside from her two faces she was a normal child I accepted her," the girl's mother, Sushma, tells IANS.

Now villagers are lining up to see the baby that many view as a reincarnation of a Hindu goddess.

"God has made her like this and we are lucky to be her parents," grandfather Brahm Singh tells IANS.

Wow, instead of hiding her away, the locals now consider her the re-incarnation of a Hindu goddess named Durga--a fiery deity with three eyes and many arms (thank God she doesn't have more than one set of arms!). 

When I was working on my undergrad in anthropology, I took a grad level course about Shamanism (covering all regions of the globe--even the US--think of church snake handlers).  Native Americans did not hide away people with schizophrenia--they were promoted as Shamans or other highly respected people in their culture.  Of course, when you have such a title you get a lot of one-on-one attention and care so I think these individuals were well cared for.  Many schizophrenics have amazing gifts and talents, but because of the medication to control the other symptoms they often are not able to be as productive.  I'm not advocating for no medication--just saying that different cultures revere things we consider to be abhorrent. 

What little quirky things make you strange, but are actually quite charming?

It's Monday in the Year of Me

I am not a woman who spends hours shopping for clothes or shoes.  Truth is, I have a hard time finding things that fit right and avoid that kind of shopping as much as possible.  But in the spring when the wind is right and I see a Lowe's or Home Depot....I admit, my eyes get a bit misty.  And once I am in the store I am like a kid in a candy shop--flowers, and vegetable gardens, and cleaning supplies, and closet organizers...well, I could go on and on.  But this is what I really want.  It's what I have been dreaming about for 2 years now...my very own grill. 

No, not those grillz

I want this grill, sucka. It ain't fancy.  To be honest, it's about the cheapest one they carry, but think of the possibilities. 

What do you know...

I was quite irritated when I checked Fifth Third's online bank site and learned that the account had NOT been closed and that I was assessed an additional charge of $100+.  What the heck?  These people are really pissing me off.  So, I wrote them to complain.  Twice.

This is the response that I got from one of the emails:

April 5, 2008
Dear Erica,
Thank you for choosing Fifth Third Bank. We apologize for this situation and are committed to meeting your expectations. The -$100.53 is the amount of the overpayment on the account. These funds will be refunded to you in the form of a refund check in 10 business days.
Thank you again for informing us of your concerns and the opportunity to respond to this issue.

Huh...what do you know.  I'm still not satisfied with the response on why the account wasn't closed, but hopefully that will soon be resolved as well.

Finally, some rest

Sorry, for my hiatus blogger buddies. As you probably noticed I have been griping about being tired for a while. It wasn't until this week when the sweats started that I realized that it wasn't strictly fatigue related to work or travel, although that did play a part. Unfortunately living in B-town has re-activated some dormant allergy problems. The first year I was here I ran to my doctor that fall and again in the spring complaining of extreme fatigue, night and day sweats (no, not TB) and overall feeling of malaise. Something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I would have fevers and then be normal. We did a lot of tests and my WBC and Sed rates would be elevated during these times and not during other times of the year. It wasn't for another year that I realized it was probably a result of allergies. Although I get a bit of the watery eyes and sneezing, the fatigue and fevers is what puts me down.

So, I asked my boss for Monday off and I'm hoping between now and then that the season makes up it's mind. We are 3 weeks into spring and a good 15-20* below normal temp. We keep going back and forth between warming up and freezing--just make up your mind already! At least my weeds are greening up and my trees are starting to show hints of buds. I'm so excited! It's my favorite time of year, even if I do feel crappy.

• It's been a crazy, stressful, busy week. I have worked between 10-12 hour days all week so when I went into work this morning I only needed to work 45 minutes and then I would be in overtime. I ended up working 2 hours and I'm hoping my boss doesn't freak out. I did notify her in advance. I am so looking forward to having one day this weekend where I can sleep in and stay in my jammies all freakin' day. No kidding. I've spent this evening (after napping 3 hours) watching TV and crocheting. Ahhh, heaven.
• Big phat congrats to those families that received referrals today! Whoo-hoo! I think the CCAA cleared through 4 or 5 days of referrals, right? I think it went from January 4th through January 9th, 2006. I have to admit, since the CCAA took down the page with the log in dates and review by dates, I honestly don't obsess on it anymore. Although I still think of my MayLing, China and the adoption part of things don't enter my thoughts as much. I still read the China digital paper and I still cut out articles about China for her scrapbook, but I don't spend the time and energy on it like I did. I think some of that is good, but it is also sad as well. We haven't received an update for months about the review room. Kristen thought we may have gotten through it already, but who knows? I would certainly think so since there weren't any large groups between the last month cleared and our LID.
• I have excitedly been following Heather and Dustin's blog since I met them last summer when I visited Kristen in Wisconsin. At the time we teased them because they said they were open to either sex child. Well, they had a boy! And my goodness, he is the cutest boy I have EVER seen. I do have one thing to say, Dustin, let Heather hold him already!
• I just want to say one last thing about Fifth Third Bank--they suck. It's been a long, energy sucking battle the last few weeks to get to the bottom of some issues with my mortgage account. My parents are the best in the world and my dad offered insisted that I take a loan pay from him, and then pay my dad back each month...interest free. Considering that nearly 80% of each payment was going to interest, this is quite a gift. When I closed that loan account today they penalized me an additional couple hundred dollars. I didn't close a huge loan and it certainly wasn't my mortgage, so why do they need to do that? Not only that, when they handed me my statement they left a zero out...you know, those zeros are worth thousands of dollars. Thank goodness I caught it before they cashed it--that would have been disastrous. It gives me an ass cramp just thinking about it. With my neighborhood bank (which I should have gone to for my mortgage instead of being sweet-talked by an ass clown of a realtor) I have paid off two cars early and wasn't penalized. Anyway, they suck and if I could afford to pay for another closing, I would use my neighborhood bank. Really, not bitter, just a lot wiser about buying a home. Well, maybe still a teensy bit bitter.

Ok, I think that about sums things up for now. Congrats to all the new parents and to the rest of you, stay strong and know that your day will someday come.

And, yes, ass was my word of the day. Yesterday every e-mail I sent had the word awesome in it. Today, ass is reigning supreme.

Mama's tired

Mama's really tired.  I think all the travel, the respiratory infection I've battled the last few weeks and the crazy long hours I'm putting in COMBINED with the fact that I have only had 1 day one off in nearly 2 weeks has left me very tired.  I'm hoping to work a half day Friday and take Monday off. 

Hopefully I will be full of wit by then.  As you have probably noticed my posts have been rather irritable lately because I'm TIRED.  I did want to post Part III of My Baby's Daddy at some point and I'm dedicating it to Angie, but I'm sure all the singles out there will have a big fat "Amen!" to add after that post.