Random Thoughts....

There is a reason this blog is called Mad Musings because I have random thoughts that I need to express. There is no link between them; they are just thinks that I ponder on occasionally and sometimes long enough to write them down.

• I've started a Christmas list already. So far it is short, but expensive. I need luggage. I have the old hard sided luggage circa 1991 and it is just too darn heavy to lug around. My carry-on is a soft side, but ridiculously large. It doesn't fit most airlines regulation carry-on size (but I still carry it on--it still fits in an overhead bin). Second item...an iPod. It would be very handy at the gym. Right now I use my Palm Zire, but I can't fit as many songs on that memory card. Michael lent me his iPod so I can trial it to see if I really want it. I know people read this blog, so if anyone has some pros and cons they want to share, I'd LOVE to hear from you.
• I love the Texisms I heard in, you guessed it, Texas. My favorite phrase was "all ya'll" and I have been working it into every conversation I can since coming back home. I really didn't pick up a Texas accent (there were too many accents), but one of my dinner companions was from Atlanta and sounded a lot like the Sugarbaker Sisters, so I picked his up pretty quick.
• I have developed my very own Buddha Belly. And if you try to rub it, I will slap you senseless. It's bad. After every meal in Texas I would eventually push myself away from the trough, rub my belly, and groan. Rubbing it didn't make me lucky, obviously. Just check the previous 3 posts.
  
• I always hope that time stands still when I leave town. I always have this very strange sense of loss when I return home to find out that I missed so much when I was away. Evidently B-town had its very own sniper incident. No kidding. The schools were on lock-down, the apartment complex with sniper was on lock-down and all the surround bussinesses were locked down. Evidently it was a LAW student that went nutty and used his AK-47 to shoot up his textbooks. Who owns an AK-47???
  
• I missed the changing of the leaves. Well, not completely, but enough to be saddened by it. When I was driving around on Friday morning I realized that a lot of the trees are now red-tipped and gorgeous. I spent all afternoon Friday mowming, mulching, weeding and winterizing my yard. My aching back....
• Evidently I have a fabtabulous new hairdo. I went to the salon yesterday and got a good eyebrow waxing (wow, Jessica waxed and plucked for a very long time---evidently I'm sprouting evergreens). I also got a hair cut. My hair is naturally wavy/curly, but she cut it to a chin length bob and flat ironed it. Personally, I wasn't too impressed with it, but my family loved it. Of course since they love me their opinion doesn't really count because they HAVE to tell me they like it. I knew it must be fab when so many at church told me it was great today (after having slept on it). Not just my girlfriends...even married men. Not only that, some of them were married men in their 40s and 50s. So, the 'do is cool with the 'rents, the seniors (did you know you get a senior citizens discount at Kerasotes Theatre at age 55? That is way too young to be a senior) and the young peeps. Good to know. Plus, it makes all my naturally red highlights (from the sun, naturally) look storebought. Is that supposed to be a good thing?
  

A conversation with a 2 year-old

I spent the afternoon with my family. My parents and sister worked on cleaning up their house that was trashed by the tenants they evicted, while I kept my niece entertained. This is a snippet of conversation while my niece and I ate dinner together.

Saige: You douche?

Me: That's a bit personal, but no I don't douche.

(at this point my sister overhears the conversation and yells at me for "teaching" her a new word).

Sarah: Saige, we don't say that word. That's a grown up word.

Saige: DOUCHE, DOUCHE, DOUCHE!

(Saige yells louder and louder while Sarah gives me a withering look)

I take a swig of my my Diet Coke, Saige looks at it and yells once again, "DOUCHE". I could litterally see the light bulb going off inside Sarah's head when she realizes Saige was yelling for JUICE. Yep, I spent the next 5 minutes working with the kiddo on her "J" sounds.

...and thank you for flying American Airlines (in)direct to Indianapolis

Ok, this is going to be a long one so belly up to the desk. My flight out of Dallas was scheduled for 10 am so like a good girl, I got up early, checked to make sure my flight was still on time and then checked for the weather forecast back home. Oh, crap. It was only 7 am and we were already under a tornado warning in Indiana. Looking at the weather map I saw that the storm front started across northern Texas and crossed Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. Obviously this was a concern for me. As a teenager I flew from Japan to Hong Kong and our plane was hit by lightening and one of our engines was knocked out. I guess you could say I'm familiar with what happens in the air during storms.

Due to my obvious aversion towards using Dallas's esteemed taxi service, I called a shuttle company to come pick me up at the hotel and ferry me to the airport. He was supposed to get there at 8:15...he arrived at 7:40am. Ok, my morning is not going as smoothly as I would have liked.

Have you ever been to the Dallas/Fort Worth airport? It's huge. I've been to a lot of airports in my life and I don't think I have ever been to one that felt as spread out as this one. It was quite incredible. They have a lot of people pass through their doors everyday and they have VERY thorough security screeners. They actually found and removed my chapstick, lipsticks and Epi-pen from my purse. Evidently they are considered to be "liquids" and needed to be secured in a clear 1 quart ziplock baggie. I did have a gallon bag, but that wasn't good enough. It had to be a 1 quart bag. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy???? The only time lipstick is a liquid is when it is boiled. Fortunately they (as well as everyone else in Texas) was very polite and helpful about it. But still, my morning was not running as smoothly as I would have liked. I like to be able to anticipate these things before I travel. For example, on Sunday before I left for the airport I went through my purse and confiscated hand lotion, sun screen, and not one, but two pocket knives. I have no idea how I got my hands on 2 knives, but there they were.

Ok, so on I go. I'm sitting there waiting for them to board when they finally announce that we will be late because our plane is coming from Chicago and weather was creating problems there. Ok, so 10 am got moved to 10:30. Ok, still not smooth, but I am going with the flow.

Did you know that AA charges you for a bag of pretzels? Yeah, I didn't know either until getting on the flight. The only thing you get free is a headache and a ginger ale. I am sitting in the very back of the plane. I am so far back in the plane that I am sitting immediately in front of the flight attendants. Due to this little fact I got to know Janelle, the flight attendant, very well. Janelle and Jamie were just completing the beverage round when I saw Janelle hurry towards the front of the plane. Ok, not a big deal I thought at the time. But here is where the story gets very interesting. Within a minute of her sprinting to the front, the plane takes a nose dive. I don't mean that we began to descend, I mean we began to descend fast. I looked at the guy sitting next to me as we both gripped the arm rests and he said, "I think we are going down." I asked the guy in front of me and the one to my left where our nearest exits were. I was that concerned. Within another 30 seconds of the nose dive the pilot announced that we had smoke in the cabin along with a strange odor and we needed to land ASAP. If the nose dive didn't grab out attention, the plane's banking/rolling left to right sure did. I'm not kidding...I looked out the window at one point and saw the wing of the plane pointed directly to the ground....then he went to the other side....and back again to the right. Have I mentioned that I have motion sickness? I learned later from Janelle that we were descending hot (fast, for everyone not associated with airplanes) and we had to bank to slow us down. Yowza. We went from 33,000 feet to ground in a matter of a few minutes. Janelle told me later that she really thought the oxygen masks were going to deploy because we were falling so quickly.

If you fall out of the sky between Dallas and Indiana, guess where you land? Memphis! As soon as we de-planed we were told it would be a few minutes before the mechanics could check it out. Well, 4 hours later we were still sitting there. At one point a traveler getting on another plane asked me what happened. I told him. He asked if we were going to or coming back from Dallas and I told him we were returning. What he said next caught my attention: he had been on a flight from Dallas 2 days ago and he reported smelling and seeing smoke, but no one did anything. I asked him where it was coming from and he said it was coming from the front, right side of the plane...that's the same place our smoke was coming from! What are the chances that this was a different plane?

At 4 pm they announce that we will be unable to continue this flight so another plane is being brought in from Dallas to take us the rest of the way. Well, we were supposed to start boarding at 7 pm, but we are still sitting there at 8 pm. The plane finally did arrive. Minutes later they told us to have boarding passes ready, and then guy working the gate announces that they have a problem with this plane also. We all thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. Evidently some of the gauges weren't working and they needed repaired before we could take off.

Finally, we are in the air again after waiting 8 freakin' hours in Memphis. Remember that storm I told you about in the beginning of this infinitely long blog? Yeah, well it was gathering steam while we cooled our jets in Memphis. Take off was easy breezy, but because of the storm we couldn't fly directly north to Indy, we had to go north and east and approach them the east. The last 20-30 minutes of the flight were the worst I have ever spent in a plane. The wind was horrible, the constant lightening was horrible. I was soooo sick. We would just drop without warning and be blown this way or that way. When we finally did touch down, our plane was being blown off the runway. Evidently there were tornadoes reported to the north and south of us while we were flying.

Ok, so I'm not quite done yet. Do you remember the photo at the top of this posting with the 2 blue bottles of Skyy vodka? When we loaded onto the fixed plane in Memphis we were all sitting in the same seats and Janelle was once again sitting right behind me. Before take off I mentioned that I could really use a drink...and I especially wanted vodka. Well, before take off she slipped me a bottle and said "you look like a cran-apple girl, am I right?" Well, I wasn't about to argue with her! The guy next to me got a bloody mary as did the guy in front of him. Guess what the rest of the plane got? Ginger ale. After she finished the drink service for the rest of the plane I found that she had slipped me ANOTHER bottle of vodka. Thanks, Janelle!

Ok, so now you are caught up on my horrible trip to and from Dallas. Out of all of my travels, this was by far the worst trip I have been on. Unfortunately I don't think there is anything I could have done to make it better. You know what the truly sucky part is? I have to go back in 2 months!!!

I promise to update you soon. I'm just so exhausted that I can barely think. Nothing like a near death experience to wipe you out! I am finally home, safe and sound and I promise to fill you in on what happened yesterday. Right now....I still have a little bottle of airline Vodka to keep me company and a warm bath is not too far away either.

Slutty toes

Well, the help desk must have figured out why I couldn't connect to the Internet finally, because on my last night here, my computer finally works. Go figure.

Class has been good, but frustrating. This program is not intuitive and is nothing like the Microsoft based programs that I am used to. This program is basically our hospitals version of Microsoft for medical based charting. Although it has many great benefits, I finally understand why the nurses complain about it so much. I am so glad to be done with it for a while...only 4 more to go!

I have slutty toes. After class let out I met up with Ricci and some of the other classmates (interestingly, Kristen, they were all from WI and one was even from Racine) for pedicures. These weren't just pedicures, they were hour long spa treatment pedicures complete with massage and hot paraffin treatment. I decided since I was sort of on vacation, I wanted something racier and I asked the pedicure lady to give me toes that looked like hers. I can't load photos on this computer, but once I get home I will show you what they look like. Let me just tease you with this...I have rhinestones.

My flight leaves in the morning and I have booked a shuttle. I don't ever plan on taking another taxi in this town! Our taxi ride has been the talk of the hotel and both Ricci's and my class.

I can't wait to get home and NOT eat. Seriously, I'm so stuffed I want to puke. Tonight it was Mexican food...and I ate a lot of it. Uggh.

You know what else I am enjoying? Cable TV. Yep, I've been cruising the channels until the wee hours (probably another reason the computer stuff isn't soaking in) and I am loving it! Oh, and I watched my first music video in a very long time.

Say a prayer for a good flight tomorrow. I've heard the weather is supposed to be rocky from northern Texas all across Illinois and Indiana.

Part II--Cab Ride from Hell

Sorry about that. I hate to leave you hanging. Well, Ricci actually had to direct the driver from the back seat of the cab. She was basically straddling the seat in front of her and saying "Sir, you need to stay straight in this lane". "Sir, don't swerve." "Sir, you are going to hit that car." And my personal favorite, "Sir, you are going to get us killed!" Since Ricci was handling things the best she could, I went into full blown turtle mode. Yep, I fastened my seat belt, grabbed the belt white-knuckled and just prayed it would end soon. I wouldn't look around, I wouldn't look to the side or to the back because I really didn't want to know how close he was to the other cars. Ricci later told me that they were swerving to miss us. People must be overly polite here because I don't remember hearing any blaring horns.

At one point I did lean over to Ricci and say "Ricci, hold my hand." She began praying to the heavens and saying her goodbyes to her kids and hubby before ending with "Grandma, I'm coming home." Yeah, it really was that scary. I have been in cabs all over the world, and nothing was scarier than this ride. Guess what this ride did for my IBS? You guessed it--I spent the next 24 hrs running to the bathroom any time I felt the slightest gut twinge.

When we finally arrived at the hotel, he ran over the curb in front of the hotel (it jumped out in front of him). When I finally tried to stand, I was weak kneed and very shaky. Luckily the restaurant we went to gave me a 14 inch tall margarita.

Ok, so on to more recent news....guess what I had for dinner last night? Alligator! I hate to say it, but it really tasted like chicken, but with a bit more wang to it. I also ate some monster jalapenos. Fortunately the GI trauma has passed and the food didn't bother me. Yes, I know this is too much information to share, but you are still reading it, aren't you? So who is the dirty bird?

Giddy up little doggies...guess where I am? Ya'll don't know how different Texas is from Indiana! My laptop in my hotel room is not working yet...I have already called my IT people but they are kind of lost too.

Anyway, it's been an interesting journey so far. I get more nervous now when I travel long distances because I have more at stake now than ever before. There's a greater sense or mortality, but if this is truly God-driven, it gives me a greater sense of immortality. Well, that was what I thought before the hellacious taxi ride from the airport to the hotel. Ricci and I waited for our shuttle for over an hour and it didn't show. We even called and requested again that they come out, but when they didn't show we were forced to take a taxi. I didn't want to ride in the first taxi in line because the man looked decrepit. Well, when we tried to get in the taxi we were told that we had to take the first taxi. I knew we were screwed when he tried to insert the key into the trunk lid....6-8 inches away from the actual lock. Yep, folks, he keyed the trunk lid repeatedly trying to find the hole. And his car was parked under a street lamp. There was more than enough light. After we got in the taxi he couldn't figure out how to reset the meter and another taxi driver had to come over and help him. When I asked about why he was having difficulties he said, "it's not my cab." What the heck? I then looked towards the dash and tried to find his taxi license, and guess what? He didn't have one. It was obvious he hadn't been in the US for a long time so I suspect a friend let him "borrow" his cab so he could make some extra money.

Anyway, the guy was seriously blind. It was a 70 mph highway and we were weaving through 3-4 lanes of traffic. I wish I could say we only drove on the sidewalk once, but the truth is, we were on the sidewalk quite a bit. Since he couldn't see we often weaved into other lanes and at one point we stopped dead...in the road...while straddling two lanes. He didn't know how to get to Lewisville and he certainly didn't know how to get to our hotel. We had to call the hotel TWICE for him and the second time he tried to keep Ricci's phone...oops, I gotta go back to class. I'll continue the story in a little bit.